Elon Musk has zero chance in Mark Zuckerberg cage match, UFC legend says

The Meta CEO doesn’t need to Zucker-punch Elon Musk to win their cage match.

UFC legend turned Brazilian jiu-jitsu trainer Matt Serra has his proverbial money on Mark Zuckerberg, 39, sending Musk, 51, to Mars should the two actually have an MMA brawl — as recently suggested by Twitter’s owner.

“I say Zuckerberg wins by a rear naked chokehold in the first round,” Serra told The Post of a hypothetical match. “I don’t think his [stand up] striking is going to crack an egg, but I think he’s smart and will close the distance in grappling on the ground.”

As for the tale of the tape, Zuckerberg, who has been doing MMA for about a year, appears to hold a physical advantage. Weighing in around 154 pounds at 5 feet, 7 inches, the Facebook creator also has experience in BJJ — he’s even won two medals for it at an amateur tournament.

“He is an extremely hard worker, as everybody knows,” David Camarillo, Zuckerberg’s BJJ trainer, told ESPN. “I think he has a good balance between what he does with his business and what he does in the physical realm. And he excels. He’s one of the best students I’ve ever had.”

Serra, who knows Camarillo, echoed the sentiment that “smart people tend to do very well with jiu-jitsu.”

Zuckerberg also keeps in top physical condition, which is “another check in the box” for team Facebook, he added.

Over Memorial Day weekend, Zuck completed the “Murph” challenge of running a mile, followed by 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups and 300 squats, before dashing out on a second mile run — all while wearing a 20-pound weighted vest. He came in just under 40 minutes.

Two months ago, he ran a 5K in under 20 minutes.

Zuckerberg also seems to be in the right headspace for fighting. He has shared his “willingness to be embarrassed again and go back to step one and start as a beginner, and get your ass kicked.”

Musk, on the other hand, has confessed in the past that “I wouldn’t exercise at all if I could.” 

The 5 foot, 11 inch 180-pound Twitter chief — who “lifts some weights” — added that “the older I get, the harder [it is] to stay lean, that’s for sure.” Musk has also turned to the semaglutide Wegovy to try getting back into shape.

Still, he’s well-versed in martial arts; specifically Kyokushin karate, taekwondo and judo. Musk also “briefly” took BJJ as a kid too.

Last year, Musk claimed he “managed to throw” a sumo wrestler — but it left him chirping in agony. “It cost me smashing my c5-c6 disc & 8 years of mega back pain!” the Tesla boss tweeted.

The best way for Musk — who previously challenged Vladimir Putin to combat — to not be sent on a one-way trip to the metaverse is to stay off the ground and use the space to his advantage, Serra advised.

Breaking out high-quality judo moves would be one option to neutralize Zuckerberg’s BJJ, floor tactics too.

“Musk would have to try to either to work tremendously on his wrestling to keep off the ground or take some lessons in jiu-jitsu,” the hall of famer said. “He also needs to develop one hell of a sprawl.”

But one current UFC fighter, lightweight Matt “The Steamrolla” Frevola believes that Musk will give Zuckerberg “a big brother beatdown” from the size advantage — especially since the two are novices.

“He just needs to stay on top. Zuck is going to go for all his sweeps and his submissions, but, once those don’t work, Elon can carry all of his weight against Zuck and will zap his cardio and energy,” Frevola told The Post, adding that he’s more than willing to train Musk in exchange for a Tesla.

The South African challenger already has a maneuver that fits Frevola’s game plan to leave Zuckerberg Twitter black and blue, he tweeted out earlier this week.

“I have this great move that I call ‘The Walrus,’ where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing,” Musk boasted. As hokey as it sounds, Frevola — a pupil of Serra — thinks the blubbery stunt could be a game-changer.

“If he starts training and gets his wrestling on point and takes down Zuck just flattens him on top, he’d suffocate him,” Frevola, who just came off a first-round knockout over Drew Dober at UFC 288 in May added.

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“I don’t think Zuckerberg’s ‘white belt’ jiu-jitsu is going to be able to take off the strength and power of Elon Musk … I think Musk will get him in a third-round TKO.”

TMZ reported that UFC President Dana White said Zuckerberg and Musk are “dead serious” about bringing the fight to fruition. He’s reportedly spoken to both parties about making it happen in Las Vegas.

Serra says the logic for the social media rivals to engage in combat is abundantly there.

“People often want to be what they’re not,” Serra said. “They’re really smart, nerdy guys, so it doesn’t surprise me that they want to fight in the cage. It’s like living out something their money can’t buy.”