A furious mom overheard her teenage son make a sexist comment in front of his friends – and has decided to punish him in a controversial way.
His birthday party was coming up, so she thought it would be the perfect occasion to teach him a lesson.
Without a second thought, she canceled it. But when she posted about the incident in an online parenting forum, the internet encouraged her to reconsider her decision, telling her it was “overkill.”
“Embarrassing my son in front of his friends”
The woman asked for some insight to determine if her response was appropriate.
The thread is titled, “AITA for embarrassing my son in front of his friends and canceling his birthday party?”
She explains: “My son (16 turning 17) had friends over going over the plan for his birthday. I rented rooms at a resort for skiing and snowboarding for a three-day weekend.
“They started talking about all sorts of things though and eventually the topic of my son’s sexuality came up. My son is bisexual and has dated both girls and boys and is currently dating a boy.”
The woman added that she doesn’t have any issue with her son’s sexuality. She did, however, have an issue with the flippant comment he made to his friends.
“They’re asking him about his bisexuality, things like when did he come out, when did he first date a guy, what were the differences between guys and girls,” the mom continued.
Eventually, they asked him what his preference is and he said, “Naturally, I don’t have a preference. I’m attracted to guys and girls the same, but after dating girls and guys, I can say women aren’t worth the trouble.”
His answer caught her attention, so she asked him to clarify what he meant.
According to her, he didn’t provide an answer to her question, so she said, “If women aren’t worth the trouble, then neither am I.”
She then tells him she wouldn’t be doing anything for his birthday anymore.
He just looked blankly at her, before she added, “That’s what happens when you’re a sexist jerk,” in front of his friends.
The teen was obviously upset by this and also humiliated that this whole thing went down with his mates around. So he hasn’t spoken to his mom since and all their other family members are on his side, telling her she shouldn’t have canceled his party.
“Way to prove your kid’s point”
People were quick to remind the mom that teenagers make these sorts of comments all the time, and while that doesn’t make them ‘right’, she could have handled it better.
“It’s absolutely overly harsh for a comment made as a joke. I say this as a staunch feminist, bisexual woman in a relationship with another woman,” one said.
“Maybe his last girlfriend was hard work and compared to his boyfriend he’s making generalizations. Sure, have a convo with the kid and make sure he’s not falling into misogynistic patterns. But canceling a birthday party over this is absolute overkill and will only make him not trust or want to be around his mom.”
Other replies included, “He is 16, kids say dumb things,” and, “Way to prove your kid’s point.”
Others concluded that it was weird she was eavesdropping on the conversation and she would have been better to address the issue in private.
“If you think he’s being a sexist jerk, address how that came to be and explore it,” one woman advised.
Some people took it further and called her out for being toxic.
“The leap from ‘girlfriends aren’t worth the trouble’ to “I, your mother, must not be worth the trouble” is a big yikes. Reeks of emotional incest,” one even suggested.
Another brutally added, “You’re an a–hole and an insecure idiot. Seek therapy so your kid won’t have to later.”
The top comment with 20k likes and therefore the official verdict read: “I mean, yeah, [you] probably made him double down on his beliefs, considering your overly dramatic response to a child saying dumb teenager things.
“Cancelling his birthday party seems like an overly harsh punishment.”