Strict parenting is for “lazy” children, according to a controversial mom.
Luana Ribeira, 41, from Anglesey, Wales revealed that she doesn’t impose a bedtime for her three children nor does she care if they use swear words.
“I believe that raising obedient children is lazy and we should be raising them to have their own mind,” Ribeira, who owns a PR company, told NeedToKnow.Online.
“To question the world around them and not just blindly accept what they’re told, ” continued the mom of Ceyln, 1, Electra, 12, and Seren, 13.
Ribeira also made headlines in 2022 after she revealed that she and her partner of six years don’t sleep in the same bed. It was also later revealed that the partner was none other than her ex-husband’s best friend. Now her parenting is under the microscope.
The mom says that many people have called her children “wild” and “rebellious” but that has not impacted her parenting style.
“I’ve also had my eldest compared to Wednesday Addams, but this doesn’t bother me,” stated the mother. “It really tickles me, but I guess it’s because I give them freedom and let them make their own choices.”
“I’m very happy to be raising kids that are wild and can think for themselves.”
Ribeira said that her children often use swear words when they’re injured or play video games. According to the mother, she would rather focus on the emotion behind the word rather than punish them for saying it.
“What I teach them is that it’s not the swear word that’s ‘bad’ but the intention behind it,” explained Ribeira. “For example, if they stubbed their toe and a swear word slipped out, I ask if they’re OK. If they’re playing a video game and an expletive jumps out of their mouth, as they’re full of adrenaline trying to win the game, then it means nothing to me.”
“However, if they were to use the same word with vicious intent or were calling someone names, I would pull them up on it,” continued Ribeira. “This has never happened though, so they understand the difference. My kids also understand that while I’m not offended by it, some people are and they know not to swear in school or around certain people, such as family members.”
According to Ribeira, her alternative method to parenting began when her eldest, then 5, innocently said a curse while trying to say the word “duck.” Since then she’s let curse words without malice behind them slide.
This “softer” parenting also comes into play when it’s time for the kids to go to bed.
“They don’t have a bedtime and I let them stay up as late as they’d like, as I’d rather they wait until showing signs of being tired,” revealed Ribeira. “On a school night, they go to bed at around 10 pm and tend to stay up later on weekends or school holidays, which can be closer to midnight.”
“I let them stay up and deal with the consequences of how they feel the next day,” continued the mom.
Despite being lax about other things, Ribeira said nearly drew the line at her kids’ decision to meat.
“I also tried to raise them as vegan, but they’ve decided they want to eat meat and I’m not happy about this at all – but I have to accept their choices,” acquiesced Ribeira. “I’m trying to drill into them the importance of healthy eating and getting them to connect with how they feel with what they’ve eaten that day, so they get better at listening to their bodies.”
Ribeira said that teaching through fear is not how she wants her children raised.
“I’m strongly against making a child behave in a certain way through fear,” Ribeira explained. “I would prefer to allow my kids to do what they want, as long as they’re not in a dangerous situation.”
“This way, they don’t hide anything from me and I always know what’s going on with them,” continued the parent. “I want them to know they can come to me with anything that’s on their mind, without being judged or told off.”
Ribeira said that while threatening her children might make parenting easier, she believes that it would mold them into a person who just follows orders.
“Kids are smarter than we often give them credit for,” concluded Ribeira