Thinking about upstaging this conniving bride? Fat chance.
Most blushing brides-to are busy thinking about the fit of their dress or the fullness of their bouquets in the weeks leading up to their nuptials. But this sly fox spent her final moments of singleness sneakily forcing her unwitting bridesmaids to gain “mega” weight in order to ensure her exceeding radiance on the big day.
“The worst thing I did was to fatten up my sisters in the months leading up to the wedding,” a 2018 bride known only as Penny confessed to Whimn.
“Both of my sisters are gorgeous,” the nefarious newlywed said of her older sibling, Maggie, a sexy high school music teacher, and her baby sis Charlie, a happy-go-lucky hottie who writes children’s books.
“I mean, stunning,” Penny, a confessed “bridezilla” griped. “I always felt like Jan Brady in the middle – I wasn’t as hot and popular my older sister and I wasn’t as cute and fun as my younger sister. I was just Penny in the middle.”
To make matters worse, she and her new fiancé lived in the same house with her smoke-show sisters all throughout their engagement. And under the pressures of planning a wedding, a desperate Penny became “obsessed” with outshining her blood-related competitors.
“I set about making sure my sisters looked as ordinary as possible on my big day – well, as much as I could without being totally obvious about it,” said the trickster, admitting that she forced her fair-skinned, blond-headed sisters into buying neon yellow bridesmaids dresses that made them look “washed out and slightly ill.”
Then she hit them with the heavy.
“Every morning…I insisted on making breakfast smoothies for everyone,” said Penny. “I told them I wanted us all to look our best on the big day, so I was making them this special slimming smoothie.”
“I even went as far as buying a weight loss shake and emptying the contents, filling it instead with a mega-weight gain protein powder I found in a body-building shop,” revealed the transgressor.
“At first I went easy,” continued Penny, “but by the month before the wedding I was adding triple the prescribed amount into Maggie and Charlie’s smoothie, leaving my own simply as fruit and coconut water.”
And Penny’s plumping prank paid off.
“By the time my wedding rolled around, each of my sisters had to have their dress altered to accommodate their thickening waistlines,” cackled the con. “The day went off without a hitch and everyone had a great time.”
“I never thought for a moment on my wedding day that I wasn’t the center of attention or the most important person in the room,” she said.
Penny is far from the only woman whose need to outshine her bridesmaids drove her to near-insanity.
A June 2023 bride took to the internet for help after taking her bridesmaid to task for getting pregnant before her wedding.
And Kennedy Olson, a July 2022 bride from Utah, was set on social media hellfire after sharing TikTok footage of herself making her bride tribe perform an intense workout hours before walking down the aisle. Virtual trolls chastised her on TikTok with jibes such as “Are you alright?,“ and “[I] Would quit the bridal party immediately.” The online objections notwithstanding, Olson said the pre-wedding exercises were rule a she’d “highly recommend” other brides enforce.
In Penny’s case, however, her selfish scam did come with a little shame.
“I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt,” conceded Penny, noting that she often reflects on her wicked weight ruse when she admires her slenderized shape in her wedding pictures.
“I’m standing there glowing and gorgeous in my bridal gown, and my sisters are looking washed out and chubby,” Penny said, adding. “But mostly I feel happy.”
Fortunately, her clueless sisters have managed to cut the fat.
“Maggie and Charlie have both since lost the weight they gained in the lead-up to the wedding, and I’m glad about that,” said Penny.
“Sometimes they ask me to make those delicious smoothies I used to make, but I tell them the weight-loss shake has been discontinued,” she continued, adding, however, that she’s still more than happy to help her sisters scarf down their carbs.
“I make them toast instead.”
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