Communication is lubrication, according to this intimacy expert.
Sex therapist Dr. Emily Morse is encouraging couples to sit down for a once-a-month “sex summit” to discuss how they’re tracking in the bedroom.
“Most of the sexual problems in our relationships have nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with communication,” the love guru declares in her new book, “Smart Sex: How To Boost Your Sex IQ And Own Your Pleasure.”
Morse, 53, says the candid conversations — which she also calls “states of the unions” — will spice up sex lives and even have the potential to save relationships entirely.
“You’re planting the seeds for the sex life to come,” she declares. “You’re going to learn: What worked? What didn’t work? And then how can we improve going forward?”
The love guru, who attended the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, has put together a list of 10 questions to guide the sex summits, which can last as little as 10 minutes, according to the Daily Mail.
Morse advises couples to kickstart the kinky conversation on a positive note by asking each other: “What are you enjoying about our sex life right now?”
The couples can subsequently spice up the summits even more by subsequently discussing their deepest desires and the things they wish to explore physically.
Therefore, “What would you like to see more of in our sex life?” and “What’s something new you would like to try?” are two essential questions to discuss during the steamy sit-downs.
Meanwhile, Morse also advises the lovers to ask each other: “When you think about the hottest sex we could ever have, what does it look like?” and “Where are we when that fantasy happens?”
Subsequent queries pertain the pair’s past sexual trysts, with Morse saying couples should share recollections of their most erotic moments together in a bid to try and recreate them.
“What is your favorite memory of sex we’ve had?,” ” What was a moment recently when you felt super turned-on?” and “When we’re having sex, what’s your favorite part of it?” are three questions couples should be prepared to answer.
Meanwhile, Morse says the summits should end with constructive answers to the questions: “May I share something I’d like more of during sex?” and “What can I do more of to make sex satisfying for you?”
These give couples goals to build toward in the bedroom.
The therapist urges that couples be “curious, compassionate and open” with their responses in order to maximize the outcomes of sex summits.
“A lot of us, when we have these intense conversations, our tone gets defensive — though we don’t mean it to be,” Morse recently told The New York Times.
“I want people to remember that the sexual state of the union is not criticism. It’s an opportunity to collaborate.”
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