Rumored odd couple of the moment Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet damn near broke the internet with news of their alleged pairing.
As one Twitter user lamented, surmising the vibe of the whole of humanity, “timothee chalamet and kylie jenner dating wasn’t in my 2023 bingo card what the f–k is going on.”
The tea was spilled by Instagram account Deuxmoi, which claimed that myriad sources confirmed that the Kylie Cosmetics CEO was indeed dating the Oscar-nominated actor.
Deuxmoi doubled down on the allegations by posting a video of Jenner and Chalamet together at Paris Fashion Week in the clip our young Cap heartthrob can be seen sweetly laughing whilst close talk the youngest member of the Kar-Jenner clan.
Ain’t love grand?
Prior to her alleged dalliance with Chalamet, Jenner dated Taurus rapper Travis Scott on and off for six years. The former couple share two children, daughter Stormi and son Aire Webster nee Wolf. In terms of body count, Chalamet has been previously linked to Lourdes Leon and Lily-Rose Depp and was last seen making out with and serenading by song (cough Pisces moon, cough) the actress Eiza González’ during a Mexican vacation in 2020.
The Chalamet/Jenner scuttlebutt comes on the heels of a glut of surprise romance reports linking Emily Ratajkowki and Harry Styles, Kendall Jenner and Bad Bunny and Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik.
While the truth of this tryst remains to be verified, we can confirm some things about the compatibility betwixt these two brunettes. Read on to learn more about Kylie X Timmy.
Animal attraction
Timothée Chalamet was born on Dec. 27, 1995 in NYC making him a powerbroker Capricorn sun with a deep feeling Pisces moon. On another coast, Kylie Jenner was born unto on August 10, 1997 making our girl a live out loud Leo sun with an angsty teenager Scorpio moon.
Both of these babies have a sun sign represented by a warm blooded mammal, the horny goat and the power hungry lion, which in my experience, amounts to a downright animal attraction. It is apropos that a Leo and Capricorn would circle each other at Paris Fashion Week as both signs share a weakness for luxury and lean hard into looking good.
True to form and sign, Chalamet and Jenner are known to show up and show out when it comes to clothes, looking at you in your giant faux taxidermy evening gown Ky and you shirtless under a bedazzled blazer, Timbo.
The relationship between the lion and the sea goat is one of mutual respect and attraction, the vibe here is big game recognizing big game. Problems arise when power is concerned as both seek control in relationships and each requires a certain amount of romantic worship from their partners. Fortunately, these issues can usually be worked out sexually through a little light bondage and the added lubricant of a nice white Burgundy.
On a fundamental level, Capricorns like Chalamet respect the grind and revere those that build empires be they out of lip gloss, last names or otherwise. A conquest queen pin with emotional depth like Jenner? Straight up bait to a Cap sun/Pisces moon like Tim.
Capricorns only invest when they’re certain the reward outweighs the risk and Pisces is looking to dissolve entirely into the pond of another person so Chalamet’s sun/moon combo bears the mark of the pragmatic romantic. In kind, Leos like Jenner are materially driven, heart ruled, die hard lovers who are drawn to the physical security promised by earth sign suns, and the flowery, flowing feelings of a water moon.
Beyond this, both parties move through the world as curious outsiders with a certain offbeat authenticity and outsider ethos. Indeed, Jenner is a matte lip wearing homebody outlier who calls black her favorite color and counts Freddy Kruger as an aesthetic inspiration and Chalamet is something of an unexpected stud looking as he does like a Victorian vampire, favoring gender fluid fashions and offering thoughtful, progressive musings on love, fame and the human condition.
In relationship to their respective quirks and kinks, there’s a two way power play between the Venus and Moon signs of Jenner and Chalamet; his Venus squares her moon and his moon sits opposite her Venus. These aspects conspire to create an atmosphere of indulgence, creative camaraderie and a synergy of expression and presentation.
Call me crazy but I feel like these two could really give life to a hypothetical biopic about Jack and Meg White, or at the very least use the musicians as inspiration to create an absolute banger of a couples costume.
Putting the sex in sextile
Chalamet’s sun in Capricorn forms a strong sextile with Jenner’s moon in Scorpio. The energy between these two powerhouses flows and points to an unexpected amount of common ground and the passion of shared purpose. The words come easy, the bonds form freely, harmony reigns supreme and the pleasure principle is strongly emphasized here.
There’s an indication that many of their interactions will take place in the security of a home environment which not only reflects their astrological inclinations but will allow them to build a bond away from the hungry eyes and ever ready flashes of the masses. Sun sextile moon aspects have real long term potential and the scaffolding for soul merging. If this rumor is indeed false, here’s hoping it might yet prove to be a prophecy. Bless up.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.