Men are failing women during sex — here’s how to change that: expert

If you want to make a woman orgasm you might want to ditch the devices and learn how to push her buttons instead. 

Professor Laurie Mintz from the University of Florida has said that women orgasm less than men during sex because of the false cultural messages from books, magazines and media that depict women achieving orgasm from intercourse alone. Unfortunately, pop-culture depictions of sex often leave out a key factor in making a woman climax — clitoral stimulation, the psychologist wrote in an article for The Conversation.

Mintz found that just 4% of heterosexual women asked can orgasm from penetration alone, compared to 96% of women who orgasm via clitoral stimulation. 

Mintz believes a lack of sexual education contributes to the orgasm gap between men and women, which has been documented in various studies for over 20 years. And while research has described female orgasms as being “biologically elusive,” Mintz says that’s really not the case.

“Indeed, educating people on the fact that women don’t have a limited biological capacity for orgasm is important,” said Mintz.

“Likewise, education for both men and women about the clitoris could be a game-changer,” she added.

A study from researchers at Chapman University in California in 2017 surveyed 50,000 people with diverse sexual identities, and found that heterosexual women were the least likely to orgasm during sex with a heterosexual male. 

“Heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually always orgasmed when sexually intimate (95%), followed by gay men (89%), bisexual men (88%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual women (66%) and heterosexual women (65%),” it reported.

That same study found that women were more likely to orgasm if they had engaged in foreplay, such as with “deep kissing, manual genital stimulation, or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse,” the study explained. 

Women also orgasm faster while on their own, taking an average of about 8 minutes to climax, compared to 14 minutes with a male partner, according to a study in the Journal of Sex Medicine from 2018. Mintz said that 92% of women orgasm during masturbation and more women orgasm in a committed relationship than they do during a first-time hookup.

A 2010 study from New York University found that of the 12,000 college students asked, only 10% of heterosexual women climaxed during a first-time hookup compared to 68% of women who climaxed during sex with a committed partner.

Mintz said for heterosexual women to have better sex it’s up to her and her partner to learn what makes her tick and push aside the stereotypes. 

“Women need to feel entitled to pleasure and empowered to get the same type of stimulation alone as with a partner. This means heterosexual couples’ must rid themselves of the old script that calls for foreplay followed by intercourse after which sex is over,” said Mintz.

“Instead, they can take turns having orgasms using oral sex or manual stimulation where she orgasms followed by intercourse. Alternatively, women can touch themselves with hands or a vibrator during intercourse,” she added. 

Feeling worthy of pleasure from a partner will also give women a helping hand during sex.

Mintz referenced a study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly that highlighted the importance of a woman feeling entitled to pleasure, which helped her express her desires to her partner and also set sexual boundaries.