My dog is ruining my sex life — I tell my husband to put her outside but he won’t

When I bought our dog, Rosie for my husband, *Mitch a year ago, I never thought I would end up second-guessing the decision.

I am an animal lover, so adopting Rosie from our local animal shelter was in many ways just as much for me as it was as a gift to Mitch who had been wanting a dog for years but due to his previous job where we moved around so much, couldn’t get one.

From the moment Mitch laid eyes on Rosie he was absolutely besotted. He signed her up for obedience training, took her for walks each day, and planned weekend excursions that allowed Rosie to be involved, everything from visiting dog beaches to dog-friendly cafes.

At first, I thought how cute it was, that a dog is really a man’s best friend, and this is just lovely.

Then the dog took over… our relationship!

But a few months in when Mitch was home sick from work, Rosie got out of her dog bed which sat at Mitch’s side of our bed where she had been keeping him company and jumped up next to him.

Despite our rule that Rosie wasn’t allowed in our bed and enforcing this from the get-go, Mitch felt sorry for himself and Rosie was “there for him” and very obliging, so that whole rule just flew out the window.

After this, Rosie (to no fault of her own), thought it was fine to sleep in our bed whenever she wanted to. So, every night as Mitch and I would make our way to our bedroom, Rosie would trot along behind and before we had even got into the bed, was already sitting on top of it.

Eventually, this progressed to sleeping on Mitch’s feet, and then she slowly made her way right up to our heads, right in between us.

Sleeping-wise this doesn’t bother me or Mitch because Rosie is always tucked right into Mitch who is a heavy sleeper and oblivious to her presence. But given the bedroom is also our main location to have sex, well that does prove a problem.

Dog says no sex for you

Anytime we are in the first stages of being intimate Rosie will come right on over as if she wants to get in on the action. Naturally, this is not conducive to actually having sex, so I ask Mitch to put her outside the room or at least off the bed.

But Mitch tells me he feels bad, that Rosie won’t be able to understand and will think she has done something wrong and that he simply can’t.

When I say I’ll do it, he tells me no because he’d still feel guilty. This means we don’t have sex and instead, Rosie, curls up next to Mitch, while I attempt to go to sleep while not only being unsatisfied but pretty frustrated too.

The other thing that can happen is that sometimes, we can even be right into it and I will look up to see Rosie next to the bed just watching us too. This experience is definitely a turn-off for me and once I see her, I can’t unsee her.

These situations aren’t isolated, they’re a pretty regular occurrence in fact and it is without a doubt impacting our sex life.

The only times we can really go for it is if we are away (without Rosie), or if she happens to be asleep somewhere else in the house and hasn’t realised that we have headed to the bedroom.

I have tried to chat to Mitch about it, but he just thinks I am joking, as if this could ever really be a problem. He thinks our sex life is fine, that Rosie isn’t getting in the way and that I am making an issue out of something that isn’t one.

While I absolutely adore Rosie and could never re-home her or anything like that, I do wish that we had made more rules (and followed them) about what is and isn’t okay when having pets before we got one. The truth is though, I had never envisioned that one small dog could have such a big impact on such an important and personal component of my and Mitch’s relationship.