Practical, romantic or controlling? Here’s what a therapist has to say about location-sharing in a relationship

First kisses, meeting your friends and “What are we?” Conversations are all the steps we usually take on the road to a relationship.

Today, however, there are plenty of device-dependent gestures that carry weight over the course of a thriving romance.

Sharing a Netflix password, messaging a meme, starting the first FaceTime: any of these actions can lead to a remarkable serotonin boost when done with a potential mate.

The same can be said about sharing your location. Some have called it “love language” and others have said it feels like a step toward deeper intimacy.

There’s no rule that you have to share your space if you have a healthy relationship, says Lisa Bobby, MD, psychologist and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver, Colorado. However, trouble with your partner knowing where you are or vice versa is something to talk about.

“In my experience this is a non-issue unless there is a problem with relationships in some other area,” she says.

If your partner really wants you to share your space, it may be related to past indiscretions.

“Someone who has experienced relationship trauma in a past or current relationship will often be more cautious and less trusting,” says Bobby.

Especially in an “affair recovery” situation, Bobby says, it’s normal for a person to learn about the whereabouts of a partner who previously cheated on them in some way.

If they don’t want to share their location with you, that’s also a discussion that needs to be done.

“If someone is unusually procrastinating and doesn’t want to provide their space, it can indicate that there are things they are trying to hide and that is not healthy,” she says. “Why shouldn’t your partner know where you are?”

In any of these situations, she says, “there are a few things going on under the hood.”