Washington — Do phone calls from long lost friends really excite you? you are not alone A new study shows that people often underestimate how much their old friends would appreciate receiving calls from them.
Researchers found that participants who called, texted, or emailed someone in their social circle just to say hello, consistently underestimated how much their friend would value hearing from them. Meanwhile, the friend who received the message overestimated the surprising social interaction.
“People are fundamentally social creatures and enjoy connecting with others,” explains lead author Peggy Liu, PhD, of the University of Pittsburgh in a media release. “There is a lot of research showing that maintaining social connections is good for our mental and physical health. However, despite the importance and enjoyment of social connection, our research shows that people tend to underestimate what others do. How much would you appreciate reaching there.”
Friends love when you say ‘just because’
The study conducted a series of experiments involving more than 5,900 people, looking at what factors play into the amount of praise when a person approaches them.
In one experiment, study authors asked half of the participants to remember the last time they had contacted someone from their social circle “just because” or “just to catch up” after actually not talking with them for a long time. After. The rest of the group took the opposite approach, remembering that a long-lost friend reached out to them.
The two groups were then rated on a seven-point scale (1 meaning “not at all” and 7 meaning “substantially”) how much the person receiving this communication felt appreciated, or grateful, grateful, or pleased. message. For people calling, this meant estimating how much their friend enjoyed hearing from them. For people who received the call, all they had to do was evaluate how much they appreciated hearing from a longtime last friend.
The results showed that people significantly underestimated their friend’s appreciation when the two groups were compared.
people enjoy surprises
In a separate experiment, participants sent a small note or a small gift to someone they hadn’t seen in a while. As in the previous experiment, the group had to rate on a seven-point scale whether they thought their friend would appreciate the surprise.
After participants sent their notes and gifts, the team also asked recipients to rate how much they appreciated receiving a gift from an old friend. Again, the person receiving the surprise placed a much higher value on the contact than the person who sent the gift.
“We found that those who received the communication focused more on the surprise element than those who initiated the communication, and this increased attention to the surprise was associated with higher praise,” Liu says. “We also found that people underestimated the praise of others to a greater extent when the communication was more surprising, as opposed to part of a regular communication pattern, or the social connections between the two participants were weaker.”
Don’t let the pandemic get in your way
Researchers say many people have lost touch with members of their social circle in recent years. In addition to naturally moving away from the people they went to high school or college with, the pandemic has added another layer of social isolation for some.
In addition, the team says that people are often concerned about how one perceives the gesture of arriving after a long period of silence. However, the new study finds saying hello “just because” is a much more welcome surprise than many might think.
“I sometimes stop before reaching out to people in my pre-pandemic social circle for a variety of reasons. When this happens, I think about these research findings and remind myself that others may want to contact me and hesitate for the same reasons,” Liu concluded. I would greatly appreciate it if they reached out to me and there is no reason to think that they would not appreciate reaching out to them like me.”
The study is published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,