We refuse to gaslight our daughter about make-believe Santa Claus


Santa may be made up — but these guys prove the Grinch is real.

A pair of dads from Washington state have decided to tell their young daughter that Santa is fake, as they say convincing kids to believe in St. Nick is nothing but dishonest “gaslighting.”

“We decided we would never deceive her — parents don’t need to tell any of their kids this is real,” dad Matthew Bourdeaux, 46, told South West News Service.

“It has normalized group lying and deception, it doesn’t need to be a part of society.”

Matthew, and his partner Aurelian, 44, said that rather than telling their nine-year-old the jolly man in red is real, they asked her if she wants to play “make-believe” and pretend he’s real.

“Before adopting our child, we researched parenting and thought of the potential psychological impact lying could have,” Matthew said.

The fathers insist they’re not “taking away any magic” by telling their daughter the truth, insisting “honesty is the best policy.”

The family still celebrate Christmas, they just use their imagination when it comes to Santa.
Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS
They don't want to spoil Helena but they give her a 'handful' of gifts.
They don’t want to spoil Helena but they give her a ‘handful’ of gifts.
Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS

The dads said they didn’t consciously sit down and tell Helena that Santa wasn’t real, but decided to handle it differently from other parents when she started asking questions about the Christmas figure when she was around three.

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They told her Santa wasn’t real and some stories behind the traditions, but to keep the magic alive said they could carry on “pretending” if she wanted to.

The dad's described parents telling their children Santa isn't real as 'gaslighting.'
The dads described parents telling their children Santa isn’t real as ‘gaslighting.’
Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS
They still love celebrating Christmas.
They still love celebrating Christmas.
Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS

The family say they have just as much fun pretending as they would if Helena believed in Santa and that they still decorate the tree with homemade decorations, make cookies, exchange presents and “spend quality time together as a family.”

“The magic never ends and pretend never ends,” Matthew said simply.

They said they hope Helena grows up “to be humble and appreciative,” so don’t spoil her Christmas Day, choosing to give her a handful of presents and celebrating being together as a family.

“Honesty is the most important component of parenting, and the truth is the way you should go,” Mathew said.

Although people on social media sometimes get riled up by their decision, they say they refuse to listen to them and stand by their decision.

“By not lying, there is no lie to burst,” Matthew said. “We live in a world where nobody can tell the difference between real and fake.”



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