She’ll forgive, but she won’t forget.
After learning her husband had had a years-long affair, one wife is sharing why she decided to remain in her marriage.
Alexandrea Acevedo, 26, was floored when she discovered her husband of five years, Michael, had been unfaithful for most of their marriage —all thanks to one simple text message.
She happened to catch a peek at the message from his extra-marital lover in December last year, leading to a confession from her 31-year-old partner.
“I went through his phone – which I don’t normally do – and I found a drafted message with something along the lines of ‘Why do you think she’s going to find out?’” she told South West News Service. “That was enough ammunition for me to confront him with.”
After a long, sleepless night, the distraught mom-of-three asked the love of her life for honesty. At first, he attempted to downplay the recipient of the messages as just a friend, and it wasn’t until the following morning that he came clean.
“At first it was a lot of anger and hurt, a lot of emotions and I’ve always said that infidelity is a deal breaker for me, and he knew that as well,” she said. “We were arguing a lot and I really had to pry the truth out of him and when he did tell me the truth, I asked him to leave straight away.”
The three-and-a-half-years-long betrayal stung – she had “always talked very highly of him,” so to discover his disloyalty was “heart-wrenching.”
But the confrontation seemed to be the catalyst for a complete overhaul of Michael’s life, after realizing he had spent too much time drinking and gambling.
He was “hellbent” on fixing their marriage, Alexandrea said, enrolling in AA and therapy instead of opting for the easy out of divorce. He realized he “needed to make it better.”
“I didn’t think I could make things better and my mentality — with all these other things like the drink – was in the wrong place,” Michael, who felt like “utter garbage,” explained. “But one night I almost drank myself to death and I suddenly had a moment that I wanted to sacrifice everything.”
“It’s definitely the biggest regret or mistake I’ve ever made and it’s something that I’ll regret for a very long time — if not forever,” he added.
For eight or nine days, Alexandrea went through a “cycle of crazy emotions” — sad, hurt, angry, confused but, finally, hopeful. She confided in her friends and family, even consulting multiple self-help books, realizing that the fault was not hers.
“To get to where I am now, I just stopped for looking for fault in myself and in him and stopped looking for reasons to feel bad in the situation and started looking for reasons to feel good,” she said, adding that it was difficult to hear more details about the affair.
She recognized when her husband, with whom she tied the knot in 2018, began to put in more effort, saying it started to “soften” her.
“He was doing everything in his being to reconcile,” she admitted, saying that the pair are having “conversations” now.
“I have moments of weakness, moments of thinking that he lied to me for so long and what’s keeping him from doing it again?” she added. “But he doesn’t want to give up and he tells me that if I give him a chance every day, he’ll continue to prove himself to me.”
She said she didn’t “want to abandon him in his darkest moment,” noting his impeccable role as a father and husband, sans the affair.
“When I found out about the alcohol and the affair I was just shocked and it put into perspective that he really needed someone,” she said.
While the events leading up to the devastating revelations weren’t ideal, Alexandrea is trying “to make the best of it.” Now, they’re mending their broken marriage as Alexandrea prods her husband to turn a new leaf.
“I’m sure there were better ways of getting to a better place but this is where we are now,” Michael said, explaining how “receptive” his doting wife was. “I’m as grateful as anyone can be for a second chance.”
“We want things to be better, we’ve been pretty good and navigated things pretty well and I feel I’m doing better at talking through things,” he added.
But not everyone is as understanding as Alexandrea, who was met with an onslaught of judgment online from strangers, according to SWNS.
“I couldn’t do it, he even kisses another woman and he’s gone. The trust is broken,” one person commented.
“3 1/2 years????? I would feel like he was a stranger,” another chided.
“One time is already something but for 3.5 years!?” wrote a flabbergasted user.
Meanwhile, some agreed that Alexandrea made the right call, saying they’ve gone through the same thing and assuring the problems will eventually work out.
“It’s a work in progress every day. I have my moments but he’s very adamant about trying to understand and is focused on helping me,” Alexandrea said, noting she’s seen a side of her partner that she’s “never seen before.”
While they’re going “day by day,” she assured that love is still there – but they will only make amends if Michael is willing to be vulnerable and truthful.
“The love has to be there, it’s not a fleeting feeling, it’s a choice you make every day and when you stop choosing to love someone it’s easy to give up on them,” she said.