Your bad date stories are no match for Jameela Jamil’s terrible tale.
The 37-year-old “She-Hulk” actress recalled the horrifying experience she had with her “first-ever booty call” while promoting her new podcast “Bad Dates” Tuesday on the “TODAY” show.
“How do I tell this again legally?” Jamil joked. “I had a man take several steps into my apartment on what was supposed to be my first-ever booty call. He collapsed three steps in.”
“He broke all of his front teeth. They flew across my apartment,” she claimed, to the anchors’ shock.
“He split his chin open and collapsed, and it was because he had misused a drug that excites a man’s sausage,” Jamil continued.
America’s weatherman, Al Roker, was left speechless, staring into the camera as Craig Melvin, Sheinelle Jones and Dylan Dreyer burst into laughter.
“I have heard some bad date stories, that’s the worst,” Melvin declared.
Jamil also made the co-hosts of “The View” blush Wednesday while discussing her dating life.
“I am what you would call a serial erection killer,” she kidded to the astonished hosts. “I would have my own Netflix documentary series about all the erections I’ve murdered.”
“Is it the accent that makes them just flop?” co-host Joy Behar asked, to which Jamil responded, “No, sister, I think it’s generally the personality.”
Co-host Sara Haines tried telling “The Good Place” star that she is “self-deprecating” and “such a catch” — to which Jamil suggested Haines see for herself.
“I don’t know, let’s date — you’ll see,” Jamil said. “I’m asking you out, officially, on television.”
“I wait three months before I kiss or have sex with someone, so it’s like ‘The Hunger Games’ trying to get into my pants. It’s ridiculous,” she added, as co-host Sunny Hostin shifted the conversation to Jamil’s insight on mental health and exercise.
“I’m looking at our executive producer, who looks like he’s about to die,” Hostin said of the show’s EP Brian Teta.
Jamil’s appearance featured yet another awkward moment as she dropped the F-bomb while talking about getting back into exercising after battling an eating disorder.
“When I recovered from anorexia, I didn’t go near moving my body. I stayed in bed for, like, eight years pretty much,” she explained. “I see it as this exclusive club, this elitist place where you have to dress a certain way, and like, f – – k.”
“Sorry, I apologize for my language,” she repeated to an even more flustered Teta.
“Do we have a shot of Brian?” Hostin asked, directing a camera to capture his reaction.
“Now he’s on the floor,” co-host Whoopi Goldberg added.
New episodes of “Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil” drop Mondays.