Singles delete dating apps like Tinder, create Google docs

Singles tired of swiping through endless online dating profiles are turning to an unexpected site in their search for love: Google Documents.

A viral social media trend has daters deleting Tinder and Bumble and creating a shared document that they post publicly.

The rudimentary method comes as dating app Hinge’s CEO admitted in an interview this week that app burnout is common.

Potential matches can browse the Date Me Directory, read their document and reach out by social media or email.

They have to disclose their gender, what they’re looking for in a date, location, preference for monogamy versus polyamory, and whether they’re part of any special interest community. 

So far, it skews 70% male, 30% female, but men The Post spoke to said the women on it are “passionate” — and some of the four daters we spoke to have already found connection. 

Tara, 36: ‘It could be a meet-cute moment’

Tara Schuster, 36 of Los Angeles, has been on apps “since they were invented.” After a decade, she was burned out. So, three months ago, she made a dating doc.

“The apps worked for me in the sense that I can get a date very easily,” she said. “But after a certain point, they weren’t giving me what I wanted.  If I was in a bad mood, I would just go on to get a bunch of likes and little dopamine hits.”

Schuster, a writer and author of “Buy Yourself the F***ing Flowers,” had read about dating documents online, and decided to make one late at night.

“I had just gotten out of a relationship — like the worst breakup I had ever been through,” Schuster, who had downloaded and deleted Hinge fifteen times, told The Post. “I just decided I wanna do something different, like completely different,”

“Date me. Or don’t! Idk. I think I’m pretty cool,” she wrote in her doc, which consists of a few brief paragraphs about herself, her interests, and her relationship goals. “I want a smarty-pants-nerd affection-dream who loves to be active.”

The decision to make the document came after Schuster resolved to meet someone in real life. In addition to making a GoogleDoc, she has hired a matchmaker in Los Angeles and joined a running club.

“On the apps, there’s no meet-cute moment,” she said. “At least with the document it would be something novel —  like, oh my God, can you believe we put up these Google Docs?”

Schuster has scrolled through other documents but hasn’t contacted anyone. She hears from men who read her profile often, but although “everyone has been really sweet,” nobody has been compatible. 

“They’re definitely not anybody I would meet at all under any circumstance,” she said. “They seem like they’re really a part of this dating document community, which I would not consider myself.”

But, in her hunt for “a best friend and a life partner,” she sees no harm in keeping the doc up, just in case: “Who knows? It’s not doing me any bad. It just seems totally benign.”

Even if it doesn’t work out, the documents — and the time and attention poured into them — have raised her standards. 

“The docs have changed the way that I think about apps now,” Schuster said. “I’ve realized a lazy dating profile is a red flag after seeing how much effort people put into these documents.”

Ujwal, 32: ‘My family shares my dating doc’

Ujwal Velagapudi has never been in a long-term relationship — and his family is starting to ask questions.

“I’m Indian, and in our culture, typically you tend to get married a little bit earlier,” he said. “I’m 32. It’s not necessarily old, but there’s pressure.”

Velagapudi, a serial entrepreneur based in Southwest Florida, has tried just about every app, from Tinder and Bumble to Coffee Meets Bagel and apps for Indian Americans.

But, despite at least a hundred first dates, he’s had no luck.

“It’s just a choice paradox,” he told The Post. “Things fizzle out, and no one ever takes things back up because you have a million other choices.”

So, when he heard about dating documents in a podcast, he thought he’d give it a shot. A month ago he made a document and sent it to family and friends who are trying to set him up with potential matches.

“It’s a way to bring my family and friends into the loop,” he said. “I just shoot them the link, and they’ll shoot it over to someone because it’s easier to share a little bit more about me in detail. They can say, ‘There’s this guy I know, reach out to if you like him, that’s it. No pressure.’”

Velagapudi is straightforward in his intentions in his document, sharing that he’s looking for a serious relationship and wants to be married and have kids “like yesterday.”

“I think if you can articulate who you are in written form that will reciprocate a response from a certain type of individual who is more serious,” he explained. “It’s not as mainstream, it’s not as attractive, it takes a certain type of person.”

Although he hasn’t reached out to anyone else who made a dating document, he’s gotten emails from a handful of women in his social network.

“It elicits a different type of response from apps. It’s like night and day,” he said. “They pick out the little things from my doc that resonated with them. And I can see their personalities through how they’re writing.”

Velagapudi has FaceTimed with a couple of potential matches and is currently planning a date with one.

In the meantime, he plans to keep circulating his document — and pay it forward with anyone else who makes one too: “Just with the network effect, we all know hundreds of people that could potentially introduce you to somebody else and vice versa.”

June, 33: ‘It’s a last hope’

June, an MBA student in Boston, learned about dating documents from a classmate while working on a project about dating apps in November.

The 33-year-old Thailand native decided it was worth shooting her shot.

“I had started to lose faith in dating apps, especially with all the ghosting,” June, who asked to withhold her last name for privacy reasons, told The Post. “When I use them a lot, I don’t think it’s good for my mental health. I feel so burned out.”

She reached a breaking point when an ex-partner, who she met on Bumble, cheated on her by going on vacation with an ex.

“It seems like people are putting their last hope in this dating document movement,” June said.

Her document, which took two hours to make, details her career, hobbies, relationship style, and what she’s looking for.

“I realized that if I want to meet someone long term, I need to do a little more,” June said. “Dating profile formats are dictated by whoever creates the dating apps. But in this case, you can create whatever you want. I actually had fun making it.”

She’s spent weeks emailing with one potential match whose family values stood out to her in his document.

June says making the first move was easier thanks to the format: “For dating apps it’s harder because you don’t have a lot to work with. Like, how are you, where do you live, how was your day? In this format, the conversation goes much deeper much quicker.”

He’s currently in Dubai, and the pair are planning a date upon his return.

Meanwhile, only one person has reached out directly to her so far. He isn’t June’s type, but she’s holding out hope.

“I feel like it is a better alternative to dating apps, but more people need to get involved in this movement,” she said. “I think it’s quality over quantity at this point.”

She predicts that online dating will ultimately move towards longer-form, higher-effort formats like dating documents: “The dating industry is changing right now, and in the future, I feel like people will start to prioritize quality matches.”

Dragos, 27: ‘Docs give you creative freedom’

Dragos, 27, has been on virtually all of the apps — including Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, and OkCupid. He even paid for premium features on Tinder at age 19.

But, when he recently saw that the app was offering a $500 per month service, he realized just how perverse the incentives were: “They’re just rent seeking.I think they’re really taking advantage of the fact that we have a broken dating scene.”

Although he’d been on around forty first dates from the apps, the Toronto resident says all his good relationships have come from meeting people in person.

“The apps are just really taking advantage of human psychology in the worst possible way,” Dragos, who works in software and artificial intelligence and asked to withhold his last name for privacy reasons, said. “I don’t think that most women are happy about the dynamic. And men are not satisfied either. Everybody’s kind of bitter towards the other side.”

So, when he saw a Twitter post about dating docs in early December, he decided to join out of curiosity.

His document details his preference for monogamy, willingness to live anywhere in the world, and dubs him “a burning man hippy type.”

“I would apply to be a colonist on Mars, so if that’s something you seriously consider your future, I’m in,” he wrote.

“It’s my first iteration,” Dragos explained. “I just kind of put a random sampling of myself right off the top of my head. I didn’t really think about it too much.”

He’s only had his document up for a little over a week, though he’s scrolled through all the female profiles on the Date Me Directory, which took him all 15 minutes. Like most dating apps, the doc directory skews more male than female.

“Everybody’s pretty interesting,” Dragos said. “There’s lots of very smart women who are doing PhDs or they’re doing some interesting creative thing, and they’re passionate.”

He reached out to one potential match in Berlin, though he’s yet to hear back. In the meantime, he plans to scroll through new profiles on a monthly basis and update his document from time to time.

“It’s cool because you have a lot of creative freedom,” he said. “I think in the document format, I can be a lot more thorough. And there’s so much more I get to share with a potential partner.”