Bride outraged by friend’s ‘offensive’ move at bridal shower: ‘No excuse’

In an anonymous post to the ‘HIGH END‘ Facebook group, a Sydney bride shared her frustration after a friend attended her bridal shower without a gift. 

Her post has since sparked a heated debate over gift-giving etiquette at pre-wedding events. 

“My invite clearly stated the registry”

The now-deleted post read: “A good friend turned up to my bridal shower with no gift and no excuse. My invite clearly stated the registry or an option to give cash.”

She then wonders if her friend’s message earlier in the day asking if there was “anything she could bring” (which the bride turned down) was her way of getting around bringing a gift. 

“Surely this isn’t her ‘out’ for not bringing anything? I took it as if we needed an extra bag of ice,” the woman wrote. 

Despite the bridal shower being “very well catered and having all alcohol provided,” the bride expressed feeling “quite offended” by the lack of gift and her friend “not even bringing a card!”

With her wedding on the horizon, she’s wondering if this is an indication that her friend and her partner will “do the same for the wedding” and not buy a gift. 

“I’m not sure what I can do,” she concluded before asking the group for their opinions.

“Tacky” and “entitled”

Before the post was deleted, commenters flooded it with scathing messages about how ‘entitled’ the woman sounded. 

I asked around the Kidspot office to see if they agreed.

One team member told me, “The bride is being a complete tosser about it. Like, is that all you care about? Gifts? Tacky.” 

Another bluntly stated, “FFS, get over yourself. It should be enough that she made the effort to attend and even bothered to ask if you needed anything on the day. Grow up and accept not everyone thinks the way you do.”

Then another shared this personal anecdote about the pressure of buying presents: “I had a friend who had a Cellar Party (bring wine to contribute to their cellar) and Kitchen Tea (appliances for the kitchen), as well as the bridal shower. I filed for bankruptcy soon after. It’s not all about the presents, and you never know someone’s financial situation.”

A fourth also condemned the bride’s attitude, saying, “She sounds self-important and like she doesn’t value friendships.” 

Then one colleague provided an alternative take: “My understanding was you either have gifts for the shower OR the wedding, not both. That’s how we did it, at least.”