Kids today are growing up in a New York minute.
And busy parents often feel guilty for missing even one precious second of their child’s life.
But moms like Sara Martinez have found a way to sidestep that shame in less time than it takes to read a parenting “for dummies” book.
“I just read a theory that said there are 9 minutes that have the greatest impact on a child’s day,” announced Martinez to her over 111,000 TikTok followers. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
The millennial stay-at-home mother of one had stumbled upon Jaak Panksepp’s “9-minute theory.”
The late neuroscientist suggested that there are three specific, three-minute instances throughout a tot’s day during which a parent’s presence is most needed. He purposed that sweet encounters with mom and dad will ultimately benefit a kid’s overall well-being.
“Positive emotional systems… capture cognitive spaces, leading to their broadening, cultivation and development,” wrote Panksepp. “As a general principle, the larger the sphere of influence of the positive emotions, the more likely is the child to become a productive and happy member of society.”
In her viral video, which has amassed over 587,000 views, Martinez lists Panksepp’s proposed mommy-and-me intervals as the three minutes after a kid wakes up, the three minutes after they get home from school or daycare and the three minutes before they go to bed.
“I always struggle with mom guilt and questioning if I was present enough,” confessed the brunette in the caption of her post. “If this is true or not, I do find setting aside specific time to be present with my toddler (no phones out, etc.) has made a positive impact.”
Other mothers, and even some fathers, agreed.
“YES!!! I live by this! I’m not perfect but can try to be in THOSE 9 minutes,” admitted a mom in Martinez’s comments.
“As a full-time working mama, I NEEDED this. I carry so much guilt not being there for my babies around the clock,” cheered another.
“Same. Dad guilt kills me every day slowly. Every minute I’m on my phone I can’t help but think that’s a minute I let TikTok steal from my baby girl,” a repentant papa added.
Preoccupied parents with hectic schedules are creatively thinking outside of the box in an attempt to make up for lost time with their broods.
Upper West Side entrepreneur Izzy Anaya, 44, has hired a pair of house managers to take care of some her more menial tasks like grocery shopping and laundry folding, granting her more quality time with her growing sons.
And mom Christine Blue, 41, recently ditched her apartment and job in the Big Apple to relocate to upstate New York and live in a tent with her 14-year-old son, Britton. She said the move has not only saved her $50,000 in living expenses, but has also strengthened her bond with the teen.
“This is our life in front of the river,” said Blue. “And we absolutely love it.”
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