Imagine …
Imagine if MLB players spent as much time practicing winning fundamentals — say, bunting — as they do practicing and perfecting elaborate home run celebrations.
Imagine if late in close games in anticipation of a 10th inning with automatic runners on second, prospective leadoff batters were sent inside to the batting cage to practice a few bunts to move the runner to third with one out.
Imagine if media and sports authorities chose to cease pandering to those antithetical to sports, especially on the largest stages. Imagine if the likes of Serena Williams, Snoop Dogg, Megan Rapinoe and LeBron James were eliminated from even minimal consideration of additional glory and riches because of their self-entitled, selfish public misconduct.
Right-headed Americans are now regularly and senselessly provided with the repulsive and/or obnoxious to represent America within international events.
Snoop Dogg, as if a vulgar recidivist criminal, pornographer, proud misogynist and former Crips associate is the best we’ve got, has been chosen to carry the Olympic Torch on its last leg to begin the Paris Games.
One imagines that he’ll use the flame to light a blunt.
Given his extensive criminal record how did Mr. Dogg receive passport clearance to enter France? He was denied entry to Norway for international travel violations. And his denial to enter Australia was explained by the Minister of Immigration as, “He doesn’t seem the sort of bloke we want in this country.”
But Roger Goodell and the folks at NBC consider him a superior representative of American sports.
That brings us to Carbondale, Pa., which next month holds its annual Pioneer Day parade. This year’s Grand Marshal? Ex-Met, Phillie, steroid-user and convicted felon — fraud, theft and various other scams — Lenny Dykstra.
Joe Miegoc, a reader from Carbondale, suggests if Dykstra is rewarded with the key to the city that “residents would have to change their locks.”
Anyway, Michael Kay and his selective YES buddies were unhappy with the Rays’ Jose Siri for his slow-burn, how-great-I-art home run stroll, Monday, with his club down, 4-0, as if the score any longer matters.
Juan Soto, following his home run, then exceeded Siri.
Yet such excessively self-smitten conduct has for years been indulged and even applauded from the Yanks’ booth. In fact, during that same telecast a promo appeared for a Soto “Bobblehead Night.” The highlights chosen were all of Soto showboating, including an extravagant bat flip.
After the game, Aaron Boone explained that such immodest behavior is beyond his control: “It’s a new world. … Guys are going to do what they do.”
So change it back, Skipper! You’re in charge, right? Demand dignity! What’s the worst that could happen? The Yankees would again be known for their class? Imagine!
The next night, Mets-Yanks was 1-1, after five, when Boone pulled starter Luis Gil because that’s what he had in his head before the game — and after an All-Star Game break that allowed all of his pitchers at least four days’ rest.
He brought in Michael Tonkin, who immediately allowed three blasts, one a two-run homer to lose the game, 3-2. Three more Yankee relievers followed.
If one could imagine that David Cone, who threw 56 complete games and had previously been saluted on the anniversary of his perfect game for the Yanks, would wonder what the heck Boone was thinking — again — it would have been a waste of wonder.
Cone said nothing. Aaron Boone Baseball, as usual.
Saturday, the Mets beat the Marlins, 1-0, despite Carlos Mendoza, who was mentored by Boone. After six, Mendoza pulled Luis Severino who had allowed just two hits.
On SNY, Gary Cohen offered a weak explanation: Severino was about to face the decisive “third time through the order.” As if both Cone, 25 years ago, and Don Larsen, in 1956, should have been yanked after six.
Besides, with a lineup loaded with .215 batters, the Marlins all become Rod Carew come the seventh inning.
By the way, imagine how much better Cohen would be if he returned to his pre-know-it-all days, before he spoke down to us, immediately identifying (or misidentifying) “four-seamers” and “high-leverage relievers” and destroying mildly amusing comments from Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling with his bad habit of trying to play Top This.
Monday afternoon the Mets played in Miami on SNY. Of course they did. That’s part of MLB’s plan to provide its smallest audiences with maximum TV access while games that would carry maximum audiences are hidden behind paywalls for minimal viewing.
In the second, when the Marlins’ Vidal Brujan hit a high fly down the right-field line, Cohen immediately called it foul. But it was ruled fair. Brujan would be thrown out trying for a triple.
But then, during replays, Cohen went on into an incredulous boil about how the ball was “clearly foul!” when the only thing clear was that it was unclear — far too close to be clear.
A closeup of the line soon showed a blemish on the chalk line that reasonably and even logically — it was only the second inning and Brujan’s fly ball caused the first action near that line — could have been made by the ball.
But Cohen persisted. We were to believe what he insisted, not what we saw.
Anyway, it’s Holdout Month in the NFL, a time when players with contracts, including a new Jet “edge rusher” — formerly known as a DT — demand more.
As for Aaron Rodgers, I join many others who now no longer care what he thinks or says. The two are far different and subject to self-serving changes. Imagine that!
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em
Bill Belichick, illogically hostile to media — recall how, after a Patriots win he assaulted and injured the eye socket of a Boston Globe photographer for no discernible or given reason? — is now a member of the media. He has been hired to be seen and heard on “Inside the NFL.”
It wasn’t enough, Sunday to be told that Yanks’ starter Marcus Stroman had thrown nine pitches to the current batter, YES added a vertical graphic listing, in order, the type of each pitch. Thus we were allowed exactly five seconds to read, absorb and apply that info before the 10th pitch.
NBC listed Tiger Woods first among those who missed the cut at 14-over in the British Open.
New stat for pitchers: WAER — wins after elbow replacement.
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