We’re often reminded— scolded, actually — that we deserve the politicians we elect. Sports fans are sentenced to worse. We get what we’re given. Since the disappearance of “Miss Rheingold, 1964” on Mets’ Ch. 9 telecasts, we’ve had no vote. For example, we all now know that big-time college athletics have nothing to do with … Read more
The kids in our neighborhood, this time of year, would envy the kids in Cincinnati. No foolin’. There was a wonderful tradition back then, before MLB placed a price tag on everything and marked up its soul for sale to TV, then pay-more cable, and now whatever it can get via streaming — even if … Read more
Stop me if you’ve heard it: Man walks into a diner for breakfast. A waitress approaches. She’s scratching her rear end. “Do you have hemorrhoids?” he asks. “Whatever you see on the menu,” she answers. Good morning. Thought for food: 1) Given the growing group incivilities at college basketball games — the vulgar taunts and … Read more
Advance to the rear! Back before television was overly medicated with the excesses of technological achievement, it was never a worry. TV would make good on its goal to provide “the best seat in the house.” Now that’s more of an oddity than an expectation. My strongest hope for genuine football fans Sunday is that … Read more
Two business partners are having lunch at a swanky Midtown restaurant when one suddenly erupts, “I think I left the safe open!” His partner places a reassuring hand on his arm and calmly says, “What are you worried about? We’re both here.” And that, baseball fans, is why election to the Hall of Fame has … Read more
One wonders if anything would be different if 21st century sports TV execs discovered that we’re not nearly as stupid as they figure we must be. In the second quarter of Saturday’s Ravens-Texans playoff game, Houston’s Steven Sims returned a punt 67 yards for a TD. But when he reached the 10, he suddenly placed … Read more
It’s all a con, continued: Bernie Madoff, the Guinness Book of Records Ponzi operator, had a rule that, for subscribers to the too-good-to-be-true dictum, served as a red flag: The rule: You’re not allowed to ask questions. Just give him as much cash as you can gather, then sit back and reap the totally unqualified … Read more
The reason bills don’t arrive scented with perfume is because they’re bills. You could soak them in Aunt Ida’s Sweet Syrup and they’d still stink. Nothing nice about them beyond, perhaps, the word “please,” as in “please remit.” And that’s why Thursday’s lengthy dual-network announcement that YES and MSG will partner in all-their-local-sports streaming ventures … Read more
Last column of the year. Reminds me of the death row convict, when headed to the chair, asked what he wanted for his last meal. “What are you out of?” he said. So let’s try the Couch Potato Salad Closer: While there’s no end to the damage excess and greed do to sports, occasionally the … Read more
This was in the late 1970s, on my first beat — covering the New York Cosmos, at the time the most famous team in the world for its collection of world-famous, store-bought, mismatched and often discordant soccer stars. We were in Dallas to play the Tornado, best known as the team that starred Kyle Rote … Read more
I recall that day as if I’d just seen a constellation, something from outer space, something I’d never forget as I’d never see it again. This was Monday, Oct. 18, 1971. I had to look up the date but the moment remains vivid. Steelers at Chiefs. It included a play I figured would be the … Read more
Perhaps the “Jeopardy!” home audience is largely unfamiliar with the current condition of TV-delivered football. Last week The Post carried a story about a successful “Jeopardy!” contestant who was catching heat for unsportsmanlike, self-celebratory in-your-face, childish behavior. Heck, if any of them had previously watched a football telecast, college or NFL, they’d have no rooting … Read more
Say, what’s on TV? From the producers of the stupid questions quiz show “Where Did You Last Leave It?” welcome to “Fat Chance,” the sports game show that punishes common sense and rewards ignorance! Our contestants, selected from an audience of imbeciles, appear ready to go, so, as Michael Kay says, “Let’s do it.” Saturday … Read more
The resurrection and advancement of convicted, incarcerated criminal Craig Carton offers conspicuous proof that anyone can be forgiven. Well, almost anyone. And for almost anything. Certain sins, real or imagined, can never be forgiven or forgotten. There’s no coming back from them. Even if the accused broke no law or is abundantly innocent, he will … Read more
Years ago, Albert Brooks described performing a stand-up comedy routine before a young adult audience. He was bombing. No laughter. Then chants for the headliner, the late Richie Havens. Desperate, Brooks had an idea. He decided to holler a cuss word, “S–t!” The crowd went wild. He’d won their hearts and the night. It was … Read more
In his 31 years as a Yankees’ broadcaster, Michael Kay has created for himself a steady dilemma. He has painted himself into a corner that his fame and fortune cannot escape or reconcile. On one hand, he wants to be respected, admired and most of all cherished by local sports fans despite his obvious, admitted … Read more