A transgender man who was terrified to come out to his partner is now happier than ever — and engaged to the love of his life.
Elvis Smith, 23, first met Ryan Smith, 24, at age 12, identifying as female at the time.
However, at 19 Elvis came out as a nonbinary transgender man and started to wear baggy clothing and cut his hair short — but he admitted he was scared to tell his partner, knowing the journey ahead would be difficult.
“I was terrified Ryan would break up with me when I told him I was nonbinary and transgender, but he was immediately supportive,” Elvis, an artist in Pennsylvania, told South West News Service.
“The whole way through we’ve told each other, ‘If this isn’t what you signed up for, then it’s OK to leave,’” he continued. “But Ryan has stuck by me.”
In March 2021, Elvis cut his hair short, binding his chest and dressing more masculine. While Elvis was worried that Ryan would break up with him, he instead was surprised when Ryan proposed to him a few weeks after he came out.
The pair eloped in July 2021.
“He never signed up for a husband, and we talked a lot about the future physical changes I wanted to make,” Elvis said. “But every time, he was just supportive.
“We’ve had many tearful conversations because I know he once had the expectation of a bride in a dress, but he’s been so onboard,” added Elvis, who uses they/them and he/him pronouns.
“He helped me choose new clothes and picked a new name for me,” gushed Elvis, whose birth name is being withheld to avoid the practice that’s become commonly known as “deadnaming.”
“He’s my rock and has unconditional love for me,” added Elvis.
Ryan, who is a nurse, admitted the journey has not been an easy one, and he was worried about how their relationship would work.
“I’ve always viewed myself as straight and I was worried that I wouldn’t be attracted to someone who looked and dressed masculine,” he admitted.
“But we’re getting through it. We’ve always talked about having kids and when Elvis came out, it became a little more confusing as to what that would look like,” he added, saying it was difficult to adjust.
“But Elvis is so much happier and more themselves now, so that’s actually more attractive,” he said.
Elvis hasn’t started hormone treatment due to an autoimmune disease but hopes to do so — as well as have top surgery — in the future. The couple is also excited to start a family, with Elvis looking forward to becoming a “seahorse dad” — a male-identifying person who can have children.
“We can’t wait to have kids together, but we don’t know what that will look like for us yet,” Elvis said, adding that they’ve considered surrogacy, adoption and fostering children.
“When Ryan and I first started dating, I’m not sure this is what he expected. But we had to adjust our expectations — and we’ve found that this relationship still works for us,” he said.