After ending a five-year relationship, Gina DeStefano was upset, but ultimately happy — even relieved.
The 28-year-old stockbroker soon fell into a “situationship” — a popular Gen Z term for a no-strings romance with an emphasis on recurring hookups — after meeting Tyler (not his real name) through a mutual friend.
Their fling was fun, flirty and relatively casual, but when it ended abruptly less than three months later, DeStefano, who lives in Chicago, was devastated. She couldn’t understand why.
“At the start, it was a lot of what they called ‘love bombing’ and [he was] constantly texting, talking and reaching out to me, bringing me on informal dates,” she told The Post, noting he invited her to meet his friends when they were out and that they spent a lot of time together, including planning a trip away for his birthday.
After telling DeStefano he was his “dream girl,” she was smitten — until a friend saw Tyler kissing another woman on a night out and she decided to call it off. And yet, despite his caddish behavior, DeStefano was alarmed to find herself mourning the loss of what she’d had with Tyler more intensely than her long-term relationship, which she’d also chosen to walk away from.
“I just really hurt — I really did feel like [there] was a future. I was never given a reason there wasn’t,” she said. When she found out a month later that Tyler was seriously dating someone else, her sadness only grew.
“I felt hurt, lost and confused,” she admitted. “I felt almost used. I was very self-critical, [wondering] what I might have done to cause it to end.”
After posting her experience to TikTok, she was stunned to discover thousands of women who felt the same way.
With more than 1.3 billion videos tagged #situationship, there’s no shortage of people — mainly women — relating to DeStefano’s story and sharing their own.
While some candidly talk about their transition from casual dating to the real deal, others admit they’ve been in their “situationship” for years, with no end — or progression to a committed relationship — in sight. Many are trying to figure out how they wound up feeling so badly after bailing on a match with no real future.
According to Jaime Bronstein, a relationship expert living in Los Angeles, the end of a situationship can feel more painful than that of a long-term commitment since it’s more likely to trigger feelings over “what could have been.”
“You’re in the honeymoon phase,” Bronstein told The Post. “It’s more like a dream world. You don’t really know the person so you put them on a pedestal [and] completely idolize and idealize the relationship.”
Bronstein says it takes about six months of spending time with someone — in person — to properly know someone, adding that she’s not surprised women are more prone to be crushed by the end of a situationship than men.
“Girls tend to linger and [also] blame themselves a lot. It’s just our brains are more complex and just more emotional,” she said.
She acknowledged you can have a successful situationship, but it’s a delicate balance.
“If both parties are both very mature, then it can be healthy and fun,” she said.
As for DeStefano, she’s recovered from her surprise heartbreak and is now dating someone new.
“In the end, my story is positive,” she said, advising others to wait for someone who wants to be in a relationship and is willing to commit. “It will take trial and error but the right one will come along.”