Canada is hosting the world’s second largest Oktoberfest

Want Oktoberfest — hold the Germans?

Look no further than our hockey-loving, igloo-curious friends to the north in Kitchener and Waterloo, Ontario. Those twin, heavily German-rooted Canadian cities are just an under-two-hour VIA train ride west from Toronto.

Behind Munich, K-W’s is the world’s second-largest “Wiesn” (that’s what trendy Teutons hashtag their weeks-long party on the Tok), attracting some 700,000 hopheads annually. This year will be its 56th go-round.

The event kicks off Sept. 27 and runs through Oct. 17. — a fortnight and a half of Germania with a Canadian twist.

Expect accordion-led polka dancing, biergartens, food trucks, market vendors, and even a giant, computerized 23-bell Glockenspiel clanging away with animatronics.

Here, some fun and quirky ways to prost the holiday with a stein of Molson and, God willing, a gut full of poutine bratwurst.

Arf Wiedersehn

If you’re one of those totally-not-annoying people who travels with their dog, hit the Gaukel Block pedestrian artery in Downtown Kitchener where, from Oct. 12 to 13, “DOGtoberfest” is going down. Professional pooch trainers will (try to) teach them — even the old ones — new tricks. For free! Your mutt can also join pack walks or enjoy a Sniffscape pop-up experience. Just one rule: No leash, no service.

P.S. If you packed your two-legged pets, there’s also a “KIDtoberfest” Oct. 11 to 13 at the Kitchener City Hall Rotunda where the little munchkins can learn about traditional music, dancing and other “Bavarian activities” (er, the fun ones). Admission? Also free.

Goat-en tag!

Stans of Sean Evens and his YouTube “Hot Ones” series will be in mouth-arson heaven at K-W’s Goat Fest 2024. It’s a hot sauce and craft beer shindig, going down at Concordia Club on Ottawa Street South Sept. 28.

Carefully sample from the mini-bottles of lava featured on the show — there will be over 30 options from Canada and beyond — then douse the flames with local brews. Alternatively, feast on saner ops like food truck tacos and pizza.

Canadian party band The 99s will join in on the madness. It all starts at 11 a.m. and, if you haven’t un-alived yourself with chilis and beer by then, ends at 10 p.m. GA tix start at around $13.

Danksgiving

Just in case you forgot, Canada has its very own Thanksgiving celebration. But it falls on the second Monday in October, that being the 14th this year amid the fest, and the celebratory parade in honor of it goes from 9:30 a.m. to noon, running up Weber Street from the corner of Frederick Street to Bridgeport Road (Google map it).

Do they march out a bunch of giant freaky inflatables that are mostly unrelated to actual history like we Yanks do? You better believe it!

Frau-er power

You think three weeks of problematic day drinking is just for the blokes? Well, the Damenfest Breakfast organizers beg to differ. It’s a networking event for women featuring speakers and local luminaries from the business and arts communities.

Break out your fanciest dirndl and check it out Friday, Oct. 18, from 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. at the Walper Hotel in Downtown Kitchener. Tickets to go on sale soon.

For more info on any of these events, visit Oktoberfest.ca.