‘Dead body’ turns out to be ‘very dirty, broken and overused’ sex doll: report

Sherlock Holmes must have been on vacation.

Reports of a dead body dumped in English woods were blown out of proportion: It turned out to be a “very dirty, broken and overused sex doll,” according to cops.

Cops closed off a road for 31 hours as part of efforts to seal the kinky “crime scene” in the West Midlands village of Kineton, Warwickshire, after someone taking a stroll called authorities to say they had seen limbs sticking out from the undergrowth, MetroUK reported.

“The police thought they had a murder investigation on their hands so [they] called in a forensics team,” a local source told The Sun. 

But upon closer inspection — which no doubt included old-fashioned detective work — authorities determined the find was more goofy than grisly, the report said.

“It is with great relief that we can announce that the pathologist was able to identify that the foot and hand beneath the bush did in fact belong to a discarded and realistic life-size doll,” police said.

“When they finally dragged the ‘corpse’ out they realized the blunder, snarked one observer.

“The officers had a big laugh about it. It was a very dirty, broken and overused sex doll.”