A healthy outlet or a fast way out of a marriage?
A mom-of-two has revealed how her husband’s addiction to porn almost ruined their marriage and tore their family apart — and is now desperately warning others to be careful of any secrets their partner may be hiding.
Jourdan Kehr shared her story in an effort to warn others about the hidden secrets their spouses may be keeping from their wives, calling her own experience “truly unbearable.”
Kehr had had a hunch something was off with her partner, but what she discovered on his phone, an old video of two people having sex open on his screen, she described, was “truly unbearable.”
“I couldn’t stop shaking and I felt like my soul had left my body,” the photographer, from West Virginia, US, told NeedToKnow.co.uk.
“I didn’t know how to go on and I didn’t know how it was possible for any human to survive being in this much pain,” she admitted. “It made me physically ill for months.”
While Kehr, who shared two children, aged five and one, with her husband of nine years, believes it’s normal to find other people attractive, she deems it “unfaithful” to lust and fantasize after them sexually.
“I’ve lost all faith in our marriage, as it’s something I had never experienced before,” the devastated woman admitted.
She’s shared her experience on TikTok, claiming even though it’s not physically cheating the intention is there and if most men had the chance, they would.
“Literally grow up, please. You’re cheating on her, you’re gaslighting her and you’re manipulating her,” she said of married men who enjoy porn.
But viewers of her marital saga are divided.
“Watching porn is cheating?!?! On what planet do you live?” asked one TikTok user in disbelief.
“This is valid for you. But every relationship set their own boundaries,” wrote another.
According to Kehr, her husband started to watch porn as a teenager and transitioned into using it as a stress reliever. He’s reportedly admitted his addiction worsened and he started relying on porn as a coping mechanism.
He was first watching erotic videos a few times per week, according to Kehr’s retelling, then started watching them daily and eventually twice a day.
Kehr said her spouse’s addiction took a significant toll on their relationship and she was initially doubtful they’d make it out.
“At first, I had very little hope that we’d make it, but we spent many hours discussing our past, present and our future,” she recalled, describing her husband’s promise to seek help as “coming out of the porn addiction fog.”
“In the process, he lost two jobs and we’ve both lost weight as we hadn’t been eating or sleeping well,” she added. “He suffered a lot of guilt.”
Despite the betrayal she feels, Kehr says her husband’s addiction “made everything make perfect sense” in their relationship, admitting there were signs she was missing.
Five months after Kehr’s devastating discovery, the couple are now in a much better place, crediting copious sessions with therapists, support groups and sexaholics anonymous as helping them get through.
“The porn industry is corrupt and I hope that with time, more men will wake up to the very real dangers of porn on their mind, body and relationships,” she said.
“I don’t want to shame men or women for viewing pornography,” she continued. “But I want to shed light on how it harms us all.”
According to a study by The Recovery Village, 10% of U.S. adults admit to having an addiction to internet pornography. 20% of them are men and 17% women.