Transgender dad Caleb Bolden, 27, paused his transition journey to give birth because partner Niamh Bolden, 25, could not conceive.
“I want other trans people to know it’s ok to carry a child,” the proud papa of daughter Isla-Rae told SWNS.
Niamh suffered three miscarriages — and stillbirth of twins at 23 weeks and 27 weeks — before being told she’d likely never have kids because her eggs were immature and incapable of being fertilized.
The couple from Cambridgeshire, England, considered several alternative options, even a $90,000 fertility treatment. Ultimately, they decided that Caleb would carry their child.
Halting testosterone injections in order to get pregnant was a tough decision for the transgender dad, who started his transition in 2017.
“It was soul-destroying. Transitioning was something I knew I wanted to do from a young age,” Caleb, a store manager, admits.
“But I knew for myself and my partner it was something we had always wanted and I wanted to give it a shot.”
He stopped his testosterone injections in January 2022 after relying on the intakes for nearly 27 months.
“Coming off testosterone was a rocky road as I had so many hormones going around my body.”
The couple met their sperm donor on social media and instantly clicked.
Caleb agreed to proceed, using intrauterine insemination — a fertility treatment that gives sperm a better chance at fertilizing an egg, according to Penn Medicine.
Doctors let him know there was a good chance he couldn’t become pregnant, but within six months and three attempts, the Boldens were expecting.
As his bump grew, more people noticed the transgender father with a round baby bump, which attracted mixed opinions.
He said most of his friends and family were supportive, but some suggested: “men can’t get pregnant.”
Caleb mentioned most of his coworkers didn’t know he was a transgender man until he revealed he was pregnant, which they were very supportive of.
In May 2023, Caleb gave birth naturally at West Suffolk Hospital.
“We got very good support from West Suffolk Hospital,” Caleb said. The team allowed Bolden to deliver in a separate room instead of a ward to maintain his privacy. They even created a specialist care plan to accommodate Caleb’s needs.
However, the delivery process was not without its challenges.
“During labor, [Isla-Rae’s] heart rate was dropping rapidly and I underwent an episiotomy.”
An episiotomy is a procedure developed to augment difficult vaginal deliveries while controlling for and avoiding potentially dangerous perineal lacerations during the delivery process, according to the National Library of Medicine.
Once Caleb left the hospital, he was in massive agony from the episiotomy, which started to break down.
“The stitching broke down and I had constant infections for five weeks. I couldn’t move,” he admits.
While trying to recover, he was bed-bound, unable to interact and bond with his newborn like he desired.
He did attempt to breastfeed, but “found that quite difficult.”
The unique birthing journey brought some doubts in Caleb’s head about the role he played for his daughter.
“I know she’s my daughter and I gave birth to her but for me, it felt really odd and I didn’t feel like that father figure to her.”
However, now that he is fully recovered, Caleb feels connected to the new addition to the family.
After the successful pregnancy, the family plans to expand their happy home of three to four.
“I want to be able to carry a child one more time before I start taking testosterone again,” Caleb reveals. “I’m planning on doing that later this year and will be using the same sperm donor again.”
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