I’m ‘unschooling’ my kids — why we won’t teach them to read and write

The world is their playground — and their teacher.

Adele and Matt Allen are raising their three children with “child autonomy,” allowing their kids to set their own curriculum, bedtimes, menus, meal times and chore lists.

The Allens, who live in Brighton, UK, fully embrace the “unconventional parenting” style that aligns with their “frugal and natural living” habits.

“We got into natural living before we had our kids, so it just became a natural progression that continued and began to affect all of our decisions after I fell pregnant,” Adele told Caters.

The parents, who are both 39, don’t trust the healthcare or education systems and have allowed their children — Ulysses, 12, Ostara, 8, and Kai, 4 — to make their own choices from a very young age.

“We didn’t do vaccinations for our kids, which people say is cruel of us, and we don’t use the healthcare system. Instead, we use natural and herbal remedies,” the mother of three revealed.

All of her children were breastfed until they were at least three years old, which the parents believe has given the kids a “good healthy foundation” to become “healthier in the future.”

“We also don’t use the education system. Instead, we unschool our kids. This means they have to show an interest in something for us to explore it with them, instead of following a curriculum and telling them what they are going to learn.”

She said that the couple “believe in child autonomy and enabling kids to take governance of their life, make their own choices, and decide what goes on in their life rather than dictating to them,” but defended her lifestyle explaining that “this doesn’t mean no guidance. It’s just about involving them in the decisions.”

The Allens don’t believe that parents should decide what their children do and instead allow their children to find what makes them happy and follow their lead.

Adele claimed that she’s already seen the benefits of her family’s practices in the interests that her children are finding.

Her daughter Ostara expressed an interest in sewing so she’s honing that skill while her eldest, Ulysses, is currently exploring his passion for animals and computers.

“We just follow their lead. If they want to do a club and try a new group for a little bit, we just provide that for them,” Adele said.

The naturalist is confident her children will pick up everything they need to know — despite the fact that people panic about her parenting methods because she doesn’t force her children to learn to read and write.

“Our son was 10 years old when he began taking an interest in wanting to read and write. He just picked up pen and paper and taught himself. He wasn’t bothered about us teaching him,” she shared.

“Language is all around them, so they are bound to pick it up. With them not being in a classroom setting, there isn’t the pressure there to do certain things by a certain age.”

The family shares insights into their unique way of life on Instagram and YouTube, where they have to defend themselves at times but have cultivated a community of similar thinkers and interested viewers.

The Allens are well aware of the criticisms that many people have about their “lazy” or “cruel” parenting techniques and lifestyle, but they argue that their ways are actually quite the opposite.

The family doesn’t like alarm clocks so they rise naturally, cook whenever the kids are hungry and actively encourage participation in the household chores, but don’t demand them.

“We don’t have any set limits on anything. However, we do have mutual agreements of respect such as not being too loud when someone is sleeping,” Adele shared.

They described their lifestyle as “full-on” asserting that not following a strict schedule allows every day to look different and forces them to monitor their children’s health and emotions all day long until the kids send themselves to bed.

“We aren’t just sending them off to school for teachers to deal with. We have to respond and adapt accordingly to how they’re engaging,” Adele said.

She also noted that allowing the children to set their own schedules doesn’t leave a lot of adult alone time, but this is how the Allens prefer it until their children become adults themselves.

“We don’t want [the children] to spend their life doing what other people are telling them to do,” Adele said. “We want them to find their passion, and not waste time in their life, so that they know who they are by the time they get around to having kids.”