My child encountered a playground bully, how do I confront them without overstepping as a parent?

My toddler started walking two months ago, and since then, we’ve become frequent visitors to our local parks.

I feel like I’ve leveled up to a new status in the parenting club, which comes with a goodie bag of don’t eat that’s and wait for your turn sweetie’s while exchanging cordial nods in unison.

But what happens when you come across a playground bully?

“Daddy, the baby scratched me”

I firmly believe in letting kids figure out the dynamics of their environment. 

It’s important to let them learn about the needs and wants of those around them because as much as I’d love to always be with my daughter, I don’t think she’ll find it cool when I rock up to primary school with her.

My toddler and I recently woke to a rainy Sydney day, which, when living in an apartment, means a severe case of cabin fever.

I decided to text my sister (who also has a toddler), and we headed to our local shopping center as a way to pass the day and check out the indoor soft playground.

Our little ones were running around the playground when a girl aged around four arrived with her dad.

She was pushing the other kids away from what they were playing with and shouting, “No, that’s mine,” while looking in her dad’s direction.

She made two kids her age cry after pushing them away from their game, and their parents decided to leave the play area. 

Then she approached our kids, grabbed a hanging part of the playground out of their hands, and whined, “No, that’s mine.”

My niece then touched the little girl on the shoulder, I know this because I was standing right there, and she immediately yelled, “Daddy, the baby scratched me!”

My sister politely told the little girl her baby didn’t scratch her, and she was ok.  However, this didn’t stop her from running to her dad to fabricate another elaborate story. 

Who is the child here?

Thankfully the dad saw the incident as well and told his daughter she was fine and to go play. 

She continued to terrorize another child while her dad aggressively yelled, “You promised you’d be a good girl today!”

But I couldn’t help but wonder, at what point do I let the dad “parent” before saying something to him or his daughter?

She was clearly making the playground an unenjoyable experience for everyone around, and many parents decided to just leave instead of dealing with the situation. 

The dad continued to hurl phrases at the little girl like, “If I have to crawl in there and get you out, daddy won’t be happy” and “You told me you would listen to daddy at home, and now we’re leaving because you’re not being a good girl,” and while what he was saying wasn’t totally the issue it was delivered so aggressively that all the parents were visibly uncomfortable. 

Maybe the problem here was him, not his daughter?

What to do?

Either way, we decided to head off and let the duo sort out their family drama alone, but I felt I shouldn’t have let a four-year-old dictator ruin the fun for the kids around her. 

I asked some fellow parents about what they would have done in this situation, and their responses were mixed. 

A mum of one with another on the way said, “If a kid is being a ratbag, I have no problems calling them out.”

A dad to a three-year-old boy stated, “I know what kids can be like, and I’d just move somewhere else in the park or leave if we couldn’t.”

Another dad told me, “I’m happy to strike up a conversation with the parents of a bratty kid just to draw attention to the fact my kid is playing next to theirs. This usually means they pay more attention to what their kid is doing.”