My friend invited me to her black-tie wedding —but there was one major problem

It was late on Saturday night when Charlie* heard a ping come from his phone.

On the screen was a long message from his friend Bella* and fiance Tom*, inviting him and a guest to their highly-anticipated wedding, slated to take place later that year. 

But Charlie’s excitement was quickly snuffed out when he read the plans, and the internet can’t help but support his feelings. 

Couple invite friends to “black tie wedding” with one glaring problem

“We happily invite you and a guest to attend the black tie event of the fall!” the text read.

Charlie was ecstatic when he read the message, but the further he read, the more concerned he was with the event. 

It started off fine, with the bride-to-be sharing “a few things to know” ahead of their nuptials. 

First off, this was an “adults-only reception”, meaning no children were allowed to attend, the Reddit post explained. This was fine with Charlie, who kept reading the expectations for the wedding. 

At the event, there’d be an “open bar” with “his and hers batched drinks and a selection of beer and wine.” 

There’d also be a strict dress code. Men must wear “sharp black suits”, and women were told to don “elegant black evening gowns”, but if that didn’t work, they could also try “chic cocktail dresses or sophisticated pantsuits.”

Wow, with such fancy dress codes, an open bar and a beautiful wedding reception location, you’d think it would be a lavish and decadent wedding. 

(You’d also think they’d send physical invitations to the wedding too, not just a text message, but I digress.)

At least, that’s what Charlie expected – until he read the rest of the message. 

There were also no gifts allowed. Instead, Bella and Tom asked their guests to contribute to their honeymoon fund, “humbly requesting cash or card for our card box, or scanning the QR code provided at the reception”.

Hmm, a bit odd, but whatever. 

But Charlie was shocked when he realised what they would be serving for dinner at the wedding. A big fat nothing.

“We will be providing light snacks only,” the message read. 

That’s right, there will be no sit-down dinner or food provided for the guests. 

“This would provide you and your guest with the perfect opportunity to do an elegant evening dinner in our beautiful downtown with endless options before attending the reception!”

Yikes. What are those snacks, I wonder?

Charlie wasn’t too pleased by this detail and now wonders if he should even attend at all. “[I] don’t wanna spring for a tux to eat fancy Doritos,” he said. 

“There is luxury at a black tie event. There is no luxury here.”

The people of Reddit were baffled by the wedding invitation, labelling it “tacky”. 

“Being invited to a black tie event over text?” read a comment. “And this is just a reception invitation, not the actual wedding? And they’re not providing actual food?”

“They care about the pictures (and probably the gifts), not about the guests,” said another. 

“Folks don’t seem to understand that a black tie event is an experience, not just an excuse to look nice. There is luxury at a black-tie event,” a third wrote. 

“There is no luxury here. Folks should be able to wear dressy casual for this mess. Or even work clothes.”

“I think it’s wildly inappropriate to have a black tie event with no food and also to have an open bar with no food,” someone agreed. “Appetisers are not enough when you’re serving alcohol.”

But some saw things differently, pointing out that the snacks weren’t entirely unusual for a wedding reception. “My sister did a cocktail reception,” a person wrote. “There was enough food people didn’t need to get food elsewhere, but attendance was very high.”

That‘s all well and good, others explained, but there was one problem. 

“A cocktail reception can be perfectly lovely and a great way to celebrate without breaking the bank,” someone replied. “But that’s not ‘Black Tie’.”