When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, Carly Tizzano knows exactly where you’re going wrong.
“We all joke about resolutions and it’s become just part of the narrative that you set them and then forget about them — and maybe you never really intended to keep them in the first place,” said the Poulsbro, Washington-based life coach, who specializes in helping people stick to their resolutions.
“Before you know it, the end of the year has rolled around and you make the same [resolutions] all over again. And so the cycle continues.”
Indeed, a December 2022 poll by YouGov found that over a third of Americans planned to make some kind of resolution in January 2023, with getting fit and saving money the most common goals.
But not many people will see them through: In fact, around 80% will fail by February.
Strava, the fitness tracking app, analyzed more than 800 million user-logged activities in 2019 and concluded that the day most people will give up on a resolution is January 19 — aka “Quitter’s Day.”
But according to Tizzano, we’re not automatically doomed to failure. With a clearer focus and a little accountability, she insists, you can reach virtually any goal you may have set yourself for 2023.
In recent years, Tizzano has helped out people whose New Year resolutions varied from launching a business to running a marathon to writing a book. She has also worked with clients intent on getting their driver’s license or decluttering their houses and even someone who, after much prevarication, went on to complete their PhD thanks to the supervised structure she put in place.
On the more personal, rather than professional, Tizzano has helped people find love and friendship — but also focused clients’ resolve to end relationships they needed to escape.
Equal parts counselor and confidante, mentor and motivator, Tizzano’s role is as varied as the client she helps.
“I see myself as a ‘library of ideas. Ultimately, my goal is to see clients reach their goal but also to have developed those skills and possess the tools they need to keep reaching their goals in the future,” she said.
It’s not just a lack of willpower that prevents people from succeeding. Sometimes, it goes much deeper, like low self-esteem. “A client came to me the first time and she really just didn’t believe that she could reach any of her targets, no matter what she did,” explained Tizzano, who also hosts the Resolve podcast. “So we worked together for several months and a year later she got in touch to tell me about all these incredible new endeavors she was undertaking.
“To see that transformation from someone who thought she didn’t even deserve to achieve things in life to someone who figured it all out was just so cool.”
Tizzano’s New Year’s resolution coaching lasts a minimum of three months and clients pay $597 per month for the course. Many, she said, stay for the whole year. In return, they receive one-to-one coaching and round-the-clock access to Tizzano should they ever feel themselves waffling.
It’s not cheap, but, Tizzano said, the financial commitment can build in accountability that means the difference between success and failure. “Sometimes that’s exactly what they need to put a bit more effort and energy into their resolutions,” she said. “You know, ‘I am willing to put my money on the line to make it happen.’”
But, she admitted, throwing money at a resolution doesn’t always work: “Mind you, plenty of people sign up for the gym at this time of the year and never go too.”
Here are Tizzano’s top four tips for helping you stick to your 2023 resolutions:
Set up reminders
“By January 2 — and definitely by June 2— most resolutions have been forgotten. But many different tools and techniques exist to remember resolutions throughout the year,” Tizzano said. While she relies on her Notes app, a more forceful way to think about it is to schedule a weekly or even daily calendar alert. “The only bad reminder is a non-existent one,” the coach added.
Build in accountability
Tizzano encourages clients to make themselves accountable to other people, as it’s easier to let down yourself than someone else. Join a book club if your goal is to read more, or sign up for a fitness class — instead of just generally joining a gym. “Keeping track of progress in a log can also be a form of accountability,” said Tizzano.
Focus on the future
“I always recommend clients create a vision for where they are going to be on December 31,” said Tizzano. “This vision details the people they want to be, what they want to have accomplished and how they want to have grown by the time that day rolls around next year. Cultivating a desire for the person they want to be when their resolutions have been kept is an incredibly valuable tool.”
Treat yourself
Break up your resolution into smaller goals and reward yourself when you meet one — say, reading 20 minutes every day for a month. “Recognize your progress throughout the year,” Tizzano said. “It will keep you motivated.”