As cuffing season takes hold, “slow dumping” needs to be added to your dictionary to help you avoid heartbreak.
What is slow dumping?
Slow dumping is when one partner distances themselves physically and emotionally from a romantic relationship, rather than expressing their desire to end it.
While hurtful, the brutal breakup method is nothing new and has been discussed over brunch and on TikTok for years — remember fizzling?
What is fizzling?
Fizzling is when a dater incrementally puts less effort into the relationship until it reaches the point where the partners stop communication altogether.
The fizzler keeps some degree of contact as a simple contingency in case intentions with a different partner fall through the cracks.
Why is it problematic?
“It’s a passive and cowardly way of ending a relationship that can be very hurtful for the receiver,” Nia Williams, CEO and founder of the Miss Date Doctor relationship coaching service, told Metro.
Hinge’s love and connection expert, Moe Ari Brown, detailed to The Mirror how emotionally detrimental these tactics can be.
“Slowly phasing someone out without offering an explanation can trigger feelings of unworthiness, confusion and self-doubt,” Brown said. “If you’re not feeling the connection, remember there’s another human being on the other side of that screen — and they deserve closure.”
How do I know if I’m being slow dumped?
A slow dump can unfold with reduced communication, avoidance of quality time together, emotional detachment and a growing sense of distance.
In a viral TikTok last week, Lily Chapman explained that the slow dump occurs when your partner is
“slowly becoming just a little sh–ty.”
She said that the person does “nothing breakup worthy,” but they’re not planning dates, not really investing themselves and not paying attention.
Things slowly unravel until you have no option but to break up.
What do I do if I’m being slow dumped?
“It’s crucial to initiate an open and honest conversation,” Williams said. “Express your concerns and feelings and seek clarity about the state of the relationship.”
She advises daters not to jump to conclusions and consider other possible reasons for your partner’s disappointing behavior, but address how you want to be treated and what needs to change going forward.
If these things do not happen, Williams suggests it’s likely time to end the relationship and begin to move on.
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