‘You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mizvah’ invited Adam Sandler’s whole family: review

Adam Sandler keeps it in the family in his latest flick, “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah.” 

The Netflix movie is based on a 2005 novel and, while Sandler is a producer, it’s written by Alison Peck, and directed by Sammi Cohen — so don’t expect Sandler’s typical raunchy humor.

The story follows Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler, Adam’s real daughter), a girl in the 7th grade who is preparing for her Bat Mitzvah, which she thinks will open social opportunities if she throws a good party.

Unfortunately, her plans go awry when she has a falling out with her best friend, Lydia (Samantha Lorraine), after Lydia kisses their mutual crush, the bland and unexceptional Andy (Dylan Hoffmann). 

It’s an appropriately low-stakes, realistic teen conflict, and the supporting cast is rounded out by Adam Sandler as Stacy’s dad, Danny; Sandler’s other real daughter, Sadie, as Stacy’s older sister, Ronnie; Sandler’s wife, Jackie, as Lydia’s mom; and Idina Menzel as Danny’s wife, Bree. 

Much has been made of the topic of “nepo babies,” or Hollywood stars who get a leg up through nepotism, thanks to having famous relatives. “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah” is the ultimate “nepo baby” project a la the Sandler family.

It’s a move that could be cringeworthy but, surprisingly, it works here.

Could a different actress who isn’t a Sandler relation have starred in the movie? Sure. But Sunny Sandler is good in the role, delivering a funny and genuine performance.

Since the movie is about a self-involved wealthy preteen who is trying to essentially throw a lavish party, it could easily come across as unrelatable. 

But the story manages to deliver a heartfelt family movie about friendship and growing up.

It’s not as goofy or outlandish as some of Sandler’s previous works. As the family patriarch, Danny is low- key and wry (although he’s not without some wily moments, such as telling a blathering man to shut up so that Danny can enjoy his food; stealing his wife’s earrings; or inappropriately wearing a Hawaiian short to a formal event).

The movie isn’t perfect; it’s bloated with too much throat-clearing and, while the central conflict is Stacy’s best friend kissing her crush, it takes over 20 minutes to arrive at that point.

Most of the jokes elicit an amused smile, not a laugh-out-loud guffaw. 

For instance, when Stacy is presenting her parents with a slide show of what she wants her party to look like, there are photos of popular current musicians that she (somehow) wants as entertainment, including Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo. There’s also a photo of Paul McCartney mixed in, for which Lydia explains, “The old guy is for your dad.” 

This is a movie that feels like it understands teenagers and how their minds work — their self-involved thoughts, fights with friends that feel like the end of the world and the fact that the boy that Stacy and Lydia fight over is wildly unremarkable. 

It’s also refreshing that the teens in this movie all look like teens (because the actors are), rather than 30 year-olds pretending to be younger.

“You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah” doesn’t reach the heights of Sandler’s best work from early in his career, but it’s a charming enough family movie, and it announces his daughter, Sunny, as a talent — nepo baby or not.