Back-to-school season is stressful for more than just kids.
On top of all the money parents have to spend to get their children ready to return to school, there’s the added politics and drama of mom cliques.
“Parenting is a really sensitive subject. Everyone has different standards and different family dynamics and values,” etiquette expert Jo Bryant told the Daily Mail.
“Most primary school classes have an eclectic mix of parents, from the mega-worthy and super-efficient to the always-disorganized and the just-don’t-cares. You need to be somewhere in the middle.”
But how do you know which mom you are in the group?
Here are Bryant’s six most common mistakes to avoid to keep both you and your child out of social suicide.
WhatsApp etiquette
If incoming messages seem to be never-ending and is too much to handle, it’s totally acceptable to mute the moms’ group chat. What’s not acceptable is leaving the chat altogether.
On the other hand, don’t bombard it with questions and rely on the chat for your information — the influx of messages might annoy the parents on the receiving end.
Instead, check school announcements and messages before sending all your questions and concerns, and keep the topics in the big chat practical — academic purposes only.
Work from home during playdates
Scheduling a playdate for your child while you work from home is OK — as long as the other parent agrees.
And even so, you still need to be accessible to the kids. Leave the door open to your office and let the children know you’ll be in there in case they need you.
Complain about playdates
If your child goes to a friend’s house and eats fast food or watches more TV than usual, don’t complain — just don’t allow them back there for a playdate again.
Gossip moves fast, and there’s no reason to talk badly about another’s parenting style.
And if your offers for a playdate are consistently declined, take the hint and move on — don’t take it too personally.
On a similar note, if a parent is treating your kid and spending a decent amount of money on them, or if they are driving them a long distance, it’s proper etiquette to return the favor.
Not volunteering at events
It’s not necessary to volunteer at every event, but if you’re attending, you should offer to help out.
Other parents may find it frustrating to see you walking around and enjoying the school event but never doing anything behind the scenes.
Using phones at the playground
The playground is not your office, and once you’re there you should stay off your phone unless it’s urgent.
Not only does being on your phone give of a stand-offish vibe, but it also sends a message that you’re not prioritizing your child.
Putting your phone away also sets a good example to your child to be present and in the moment.
Gloat about your child
Of course, you should be proud of your child and their success, but other parents likely don’t want to hear it — especially when comparing your kid to their own kids.
Instead, go ahead and brag to family and family friends. If another parent compliments your kid, say thank you — but don’t turn it into a whole speech about how well they’re doing.
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