I have a toddler who has shown interest in lots of different activities, forms of play and movies in his big three years.
Proudly, he is encouraged to express himself however he likes and we follow his lead when it comes to what interests him.
Some of his latest interests include Anna from Frozen 2 specifically, dinosaurs, Richard Scary books, Alison Lester, trucks, Moana, Peppa Pig, Bluey, now SING, Paw Patrol and Catboy.
He is also into his guitar and air instruments like his mom.
He loves music and treats the lounge room the way his dad and I always have – as a dance floor.
He is fascinated by construction and has a low-level interest in sports.
Mostly because those around him play or show interest in sports, but like all the other activities we expect to see this interest come and go and we plan on following it and encouraging wherever it may land.
We have recently noticed, however, his first real consistent request for expressing one of his many interests is ballet.
Ballet specifically.
“He was referred to as she”
I first inquired about his interest in hip hop thinking this style may be a little more evolved *read less traditional* and he does love a weird downward-facing-dog-air-kick-trick in a dance-off.
Nope.
Ballet it is.
So off I went, to find out about classes and it was the response to the first round of communication I had with the first dance school I contacted that made my tummy drop.
Ugh.
He was referred to as ‘she’ throughout the email, finishing with the teacher being excited to welcome my daughter and me to the studio the following Tuesday.
I responded by clarifying that my child was in fact a boy and I was disappointed for him to be assumed a girl.
I also checked that the studio was inclusive and these types of assumptions weren’t a part of their studio.
Fortunately, their response was hopeful!
She apologized and said they were working on expanding their school to be more inclusive so she appreciated the feedback.
We have started a dance school and have been thrilled to see that on entry there is a logo of a boy and a girl and he has enjoyed a more traditional style of dance with other boys in class.
No foul no harm right? Well, no. Wrong.
The tokenistic representation will only get us so far.
When we change the language we change how someone can feel. When we change how someone feels they are more inclined to take risks, be themselves, and be comfortable with expression.
I believe we can do better for our kids.
“Let them be themselves!”
These comments may be innocent. The assumption may not be intentional. We are all learning, yep, yep, yep.
But we have to be better by doing better.
Better with our color codes, better with our music choices, watching their socialization (for instance, encouraging mixed groups of friends) and particularly better with our business who work with children.
No more comments on their future girlfriends or boyfriends. No more assumptions of what they are into. No more dressing them the way we were taught boys or girls should be dressed. Things have changed and it is for the better!
Let them explore.
Let them play!
Let them be themselves!
Then you can find out who they are.
We can ask them what they want to wear.
We can ask them who they like to play with and we can ask them what they are interested in.
So, my journey as a mum of a “boy” in the big wide world continues in a whole new way.
Wish me luck.
For dance class but also for the next thirty thousand years trying to protect him!