Happy wives, happy lives.
A Maryland couple is going viral for their tips on how to divvy up household chores to make them both feel “seen and heard.”
Alexa and Cass founded the lifestyle blog Two Femme Gems and often share homemaking tips on their Instagram.
In a video posted March 28, the Annapolis-based duo explained that they divide their tasks to play to their strengths. Cass, for example, has ADHD.
“My wife told me she prefers to receive information in the form of lists, so I write her one each day. I feel seen and heard because things get done. She feels seen and heard because I met her on her level,” Alexa shared.
“Secondly, my wife will forget food exists if it’s behind a closed door, so I make a weekly menu and put all our food in clear containers, so she can easily see what’s available,” she added.
Since Alexa has a shoulder injury, Cass “does more of the physical labor” that would be painful for Alexa to complete on her own, including performing yard work and shopping for heavy bags of pet food.
Alexa, meanwhile, said she excels at routine tasks like laundry.
“Lastly, we have a weekly meeting every week just to check in and make sure that we both feel seen and heard. Works great for us!” Alexa signed off the video.
“If you or your spouse has ADHD we can’t recommend these tips enough! Hope you find them as helpful as we have,” they added in the caption.
The Post has contacted the couple for comment.
Their video has racked up over 1.5 million views on Instagram and more than 1,000 comments, with many viewers impressed by their system.
“The amount of food that expires because it’s not on my eye view it’s ridiculous,” one empathized.
“Oh damn, many lessons in a 1min video, makes me think a lot about the ‘playing to our strengths’ part,” one person wrote. “Long relationships are not easy at all, and you two showed some light into difficult topics.”
“As a person with ADHD, holy s–t, thank you for actually paying attention to her needs and wants,” another applauded. “I know how annoying I can be and it would make me feel so loved and listened to if someone did this for me (currently single).”
Another added: “I absolutely love this! We might try and incorporate weekly meetings too just because they [seem] like a nice way to check in, neither of us have ADHD but I think it would be nice to improve communication as well as allow both of us to feel heard.”
However, some viewers criticized Alexa for talking about Cass’ ADHD like it’s a “disability.”
“Absolutely no hate to the creator at all. But as someone with ADHD I find this kind of insulting,” one person wrote.
“You have to make me a menu for my food or I won’t eat it? That feels like I have a severe mental problem. It’s like I need a note to make sure I breath or if I get distracted I might not,” the commenter continued.
“Again no hate to the creators they seem great and if it works for them good for them. I just don’t like this. Thank you for letting me share.”
“Idk how people have the energy to tell their partners every single thing that needs to be done,” another snarked.
But one user defended the wives once and for all.
“I like how at the end you said ‘works great for us’ and people in the comments are still picking it apart and judging,” the commenter noted.
“Happy for yall!! Not every relationship works the same and finding a system that works for you and your partner is good!”
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