I’m a dating coach — here are 3 signs you should cancel a first date

Trouble ahead.

One dating expert is warning singles to cancel a first date if they encounter one of these three glaring red flags that could turn your night out into a nightmare

Erika Ettin, A Little Nudge founder who has coached thousands of clients, told Insider that while she wouldn’t recommend flaking on first dates often, there are a few signs that will let you know whether or not you’re going to vibe with your match even before meeting.

Before sitting down for that first drink or cup of Joe, Ettin advises singletons to text with their potential date to feel out their personality and intentions.

First topic of discussion? Values, which Ettin said are an important component of finding a soulmate.

Often, they’re non-negotiable — think: kids or religion — and could be an immediate dealbreaker if they don’t align. Why not find out ahead of time?

Also, if your date overshares or continuously references sex during the texting phase, Ettin recommends reconsidering that first date.

She told Insider about a time a client arranged to meet up with a Hinge match, but ahead of their date, he asked why the client’s marriage ended, explaining that his soured because he and his ex-wife weren’t compatible sexually — but made sure to tell the client he found her very attractive.

“The combination of those overshares were enough to put a red flag in her mind, and she decided to cancel,” Ettin recalled.

Bad-mouthing an ex is never a good look, especially before or on the first date.

“If someone talks poorly about an ex, especially before the first date, it could imply that they’re not over their ex, that they’re bitter in some way, or that they don’t take any personal accountability for a relationship not working,” Ettin said.

And while it’s disrespectful of another person’s time to cancel a date in the eleventh hour, Ettin believes those three red flags are enough to warrant calling the whole thing off — before it starts.

Overall, for greatest success, Ettin recommends sticking to her nifty acronym “NATO” — “not attached to an outcome.” In other words, what will be will be.

Just don’t become a chronic flake. .

“I know people are flaky these days. But just because other people are flaky, it doesn’t mean you should be,” Ettin said.efee