One day in 2020, Dr. Brian Boxer Wachler found himself standing in the kitchen zoning out as his twin teenage daughters filled him in on their day. He was too busy anxiously refreshing his TikTok feed to see how many views his latest video was getting to listen to them.
“[I was] a digital deadbeat dad,” he told The Post.
Eventually, his wife and children sat him down and confronted him: He was addicted to social media, they said. At first he denied it and grew defensive, but when his TikTok account was suspended for violating community guidelines, he got so sad that he realized they were right.
“I felt terrible and very guilty,” Boxer Wachler, 55, said.
In his new book, “Influenced: The Impact of Social Media on Our Perception” out on Nov. 1, Boxer Wachler examines the role that influencers have in today’s world and the challenge of maintaining a healthy relationship with social media.
It’s something he’s struggled with himself. At the start of the pandemic, Boxer Wachler, an ophthalmologist based in Los Angeles, quickly blew up using his medical and research expertise to debunk or endorse viral videos on social media. Within months, he had 10,000 followers, and his influence kept growing and growing.
“My videos started going viral with millions of views, hundreds of thousands of views, and in one day, [I got] 20,000 new followers, then 50,000 new followers” said Boxer Wachler, who now has a following of 3.3 million on TikTok and 103,000 on Instagram.
“It was just an unbelievable rush of dopamine. It kind of makes you feel high.”
Once Boxer Wachler recognized that he was missing out on his real life due to his obsession with his virtual persona, he made efforts to put down his iPad so it wouldn’t come between him and his family.
Recovering from social media addiction, he said, can be challenging.
“As is the case with any addictive-type behaviors, the first thing to do when one has been identified is to acknowledge the problem,” he writes in his book.
For fellow addicts, he suggests adding some structure to their online activities: Turn off notifications, set screen time limits and put your phone somewhere hard to reach when you’re not supposed to be on it.
“Sadly, what I experienced seems to be the norm, rather than the exception,” he said. “And no one is talking about it — and yet there does not exist a manual for influencers, followers and users on how to prevent this addiction or how to cope with it as it gets out of hand.”
Are you addicted to social media?
- Is social media the first thing you check in the morning (sometimes while you’re still in bed) and the last thing you see at night?
- Do you constantly check social media for fear of missing out or to see how many views and likes your post is getting?
- Are you always scrolling as if you’re playing a slot machine in Vegas and are surprised how many minutes flew by without you realizing it?
- Do you listen to others with one ear as you crane your neck over your phone under the spell of social media?
- Do you get a rush when someone likes or engages with your posts—as if they’re a real friend?
- Are you unable to resist checking your phone when you hear or see a notification from Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, etc.?
Count the number of times you answered yes to the above questions. Even one yes could mean social media is interfering with your study, work or relationships.
1-2: You might be addicted
3-4: You are likely addicted
5-6: You are very likely to be addicted