I’m sick of cooking separate vegan meals for my sister-in-law

As dietary preferences continue to rise, it seems so do tensions around the family dinner table. 

One woman who’s currently navigating this issue took to an online forum to ask for advice after her sister-in-law recently turned vegan.

The vegan conundrum

Every week, Jo* (names changed) puts her hand up to host her extended family at her house for Sunday dinner, something she says she “takes pride in” doing. 

But lately, it’s become a source of stress for her, ever since her brother’s wife, Lily, cut all animal products out of her diet. 

“Things have become a little complicated,” she said.

“I always have vegan sides and sometimes even desserts, but Lily would prefer a separate, complete vegan meal every week.”

The OP acknowledges that while Lily’s request isn’t totally unreasonable, it does add an extra layer of complexity for her, as she’s already juggling a lot. 

“I’m stretched thin between my job, side projects, and trying to have a life outside of the kitchen,” she admits.

“Making an entire second meal feels overwhelming.”

In an effort to find a middle ground, she decided to ask Lily if she could contribute a vegan dish to the table. 

But unfortunately, her proposal ended up being taken in the wrong way and now her brother thinks she’s being unwelcoming. 

So, is she in the wrong for wanting to set some boundaries? 

“You are doing your very best”

Forum members weighed in, with commenters ultimately deeming her ‘not the a**hole’ in the situation.

One comment, with 4.8k likes, pointed out, “My children learned very young that if you don’t like what we have prepared for dinner, have a bowl of cereal or make a sandwich. I am not preparing two or three meals. You are doing your very best to accommodate Lily’s new diet.”

Another user posed a valid question: “Why are YOU doing all the cooking for these ‘family’ meals? Doesn’t anyone else ever chip in? Or take a turn? Who pays for the food, is it also you?” before adding, “Just say no. Lily can make and bring her own meal. After all, that’s pretty much what you do every week, isn’t it?”

Then others chimed in with their practical suggestions.

“Have EVERYONE take a turn or make a dish,” someone advised.

“Lily can bring, say, a nice quinoa salad which has protein and carbs and other nutrients. Your mum and dad can bring the mashed potatoes. They can even use vegan ‘butter’ and vegan ‘milk’ if they want to. You can provide the roast. Your brother can pick out a vegan-friendly dessert to bring. See? Now everyone is helping out and Lily is included. Magic.”

“Maybe everyone in the family can alternate who hosts each week,” concluded a different commenter.

The idea of rotating responsibilities or having each family member contribute a dish seems like the best solution here, as it not only lightens the load for Jo* but also means that everyone’s dietary needs are being catered for.

It’s a win all round.