Question: Why is sex with the wrong guy always the hottest kind of sex?
Seriously! It was a topic that came up in conversation with my girlfriends the other night over drinks.
OK, full disclosure, it was Valentine’s Night and we had met for a post-work cocktail and commiseration. You see, we are all single, and all have ‘situationships’ with guys we know don’t make good partners.
You know the type, they’re not interested in commitment, always hot and cold with their attention and have questionable track records (and occasionally, criminal records), but we can’t seem to get out of it because our love lives have never been hotter.
It feels a bit naughty, it’s experimental because we know it’s not going to last therefore aren’t worried about coming across as ‘wife material’ and we can’t be 100 percent sure we’re going to do it again, so it’s slightly addictive.
Good lord just thinking about it makes me hot under the collar. So, here’s another question for you: Is sex with someone who is not “the one” a bad thing?
I’ve really been pondering it since our cocktail-filled chat, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it could actually be a blessing in disguise.
Put aside the horrible side effect, known as “catching the feels” and what you’re left with is a fire-emoji-filled love life.
And we all know the serotonin released after a good romp in the hay can last a full 24 hours. So forget green juices and a good gym session, I’ll take the wrong man and a cheeky night thanks.
I say this with the full knowledge of someone who has found themselves in quite the bad boy predicament. Well … not necessarily a ‘bad boy’ but definitely not the right boy for me.
After a whopper of a fight last year, we made up after weeks of not talking, and I tell you with my hand on my heart, the make up session was worth every second of the anxiety-ridden few months we didn’t talk.
So what are the benefits?
Well for one, it sure makes you feel alive. You’re doing something you shouldn’t be which always feels a bit edgy.
Instead of falling for a normal guy with a normal job going on normal dates, you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone and life is throwing plot twists left, right and center.
Will he call again? Who knows. How exciting. (Yes, I know I know, toxic … but nevertheless … exciting.)
We feel comfortable enough to experiment, knowing we won’t be judged, and if we are … who cares. It’s not going anywhere. The benefit of experimenting in the bedroom is you find out what you like, and you can take that into your next (healthier) relationship. Win-win.
They remind you how to have fun and with no expectations. They teach you to never rely on a man for all your needs, and are a great time-filler until the right person comes along. Plus I also find that these guys are always keen for sex, which is great for your libido.
And let’s not forget, it gives us some brilliant blush-inducing stories to recall when we’re old and grey.
The good news is, this bad boy phase usually wears off. You take them off the pedestal they so clearly don’t belong on and start to appreciate the good guys. You actually long for a nice date with a guy that adores you.
So, my only advice, if you choose to find yourself a bad boy is this: Don’t fall pregnant to them, always wear a condom, and know that the relationship has a time limit. Now go treat yourself to some fun between the bed sheets.