My best friend demands I wear a bra to her wedding — I have small boobs, I won’t do it

It’s the type of question that can quietly pop into a bridesmaid’s group chat and set off a flurry of opinions. 

“Do I have to wear a bra to the wedding?”

That’s exactly the situation a 23-year-old bridesmaid found herself in recently, when she, Sophie*, asked her friend, Kate* if she could free the nip for the big day.

Her reasoning? 

Well, she says she has “small boobs” so you “can’t tell” if she’s wearing a bra or not.

“She told me to suck it up and wear a bra”

Sophie explained the situation to an online advice forum, citing “discomfort” as the main reason she doesn’t like to wear bras. 

However, her friend made it clear she didn’t want any free-boobing going on at her wedding. 

The bridesmaid dress, full-sleeved and made of thick material, seemed to Sophie like a non-issue for potential flashing.

But Kate wasn’t having it and told her to just “suck it up and wear a bra.”

Sophie concluded her post by saying, “I just find it to be a weird invasive request as you literally can’t tell if I had a bra on in the first place or not in that dress, and I’m sure no one over there is staring at my chest.”

“Is this really a hill you want to die on?”

Commenters weighed in and ultimately, told her she was in the wrong here. 

“If she’s bringing it up, maybe it’s more noticeable than you think,” pointed out one user. They added, “Is this really a hill you want to die on?” 

Another person didn’t mince their words: “Everyone I’ve ever met who’s said ‘it’s not noticeable’ has been a liar. We can tell. It’s the nips.”

And that person wasn’t alone in their thinking, as another user chimed in: “Right? Having small boobs doesn’t mean you have zero nipples.”

The consensus seemed to be that while one might not notice their own nipples, they might not be invisible to the wedding guests.

And then there was the argument of formality. “It’s a wedding, not a hangout or dinner or something where braless wouldn’t matter,” one person wrote, suggesting there’s a time and place for everything.

“Man or woman, visible nipples under formal wear isn’t ‘proper’,” they added.

So, what’s Sophie meant to do?

One person offered a practical middle ground: “If it’s that much of a burden to you, take it off after the ceremony and photos.”