My boyfriend ambushed me with a surprise wedding — I was mortified

A woman has shared her shocking experience of walking into a party that her boyfriend had invited her to, only to discover it was her own surprise wedding. 

With mixed emotions and a sense of betrayal, she found herself confronting him about his supposed ‘romantic gesture’.

However, he dismissed her concerns which only exacerbated the already awkward situation.

“The idea of getting married without consent felt like a breach of trust”

The thread was titled, “AITA for leaving my surprise wedding because I felt blindsided?”.

In the post, the woman explains how a seemingly ordinary party took an unexpected turn when she found out that it was actually a surprise wedding, planned by her boyfriend of five years, Mark.

In her own words, @Unexpectedlymarried recounts the moment she realized what was happening.

“Last week, I was invited to a supposedly fancy party by my longtime boyfriend Mark. While we had discussed marriage before, there were no immediate plans for a wedding.”

“Excited about the event, I dressed up in my best attire and arrived at the designated venue. As I entered the grand hall, I was completely taken aback to see all of our family, friends, and acquaintances gathered, eagerly waiting. It turns out, Mark had orchestrated an elaborate surprise wedding for us without my knowledge.”

“Everyone erupted into applause as I stood there, shocked and overwhelmed. I just felt a mix of emotions. While I love Mark and had dreamed of our future together, the idea of getting married without any prior discussion or consent felt like a breach of trust.”

“They say I overreacted”

The woman then pulled Mark aside to express her “concerns and reservations” about the surprise, explaining that she wanted a say in the planning process. 

“I wanted to be part of the decision-making, and to have the chance to prepare mentally and emotionally for such a significant milestone in our lives,” she told him. 

However, it didn’t go down with Mark, who thought she would be “thrilled” by the gesture. 

“In that moment, I faced a difficult choice: go along with the surprise wedding, putting on a smile despite feeling unsettled, or stand up for my autonomy and voice my true feelings,” she says. “I ultimately made the decision not to proceed with the surprise wedding, much to the disappointment and confusion of our guests.”

Now, Mark and both their families and friends believe she “overreacted” and spoiled a “beautiful moment.”

But she holds true that marriage should be a joint decision, with open communication and shared expectations. 

“Everyone’s excuse for this is I have always talked about marrying Mark. And again the problem isn’t marrying him, the problem is not having any say in my wedding,” she concluded. 

“After this whole ordeal, everyone asked if Mark and I were ending things, in which I replied no. I emphasized towards them and Mark I still wanted to marry him, and most feel like this is making me more of an asshole since I just wasted a perfectly fine wedding.”

“Dump him now”

The forum community weighed in on the situation, providing opinions that ranged from “He’s the a**hole,” to “Dump him immediately.”

Overall, everyone sympathized with the OP, acknowledging her concerns and need for a say in the wedding. 

One top comment, with 20k upvotes, said, “Get the hell out of that relationship. NTA 100%.”

Someone else wrote, “If he marries you without having to ask you, what else would he do with the same excuse.”

Another shared: “NTA. I’d also be asking all my family and friends if they knew about this. Who told this man this was a good idea?!?”

“You didn’t overreact, you didn’t make a bad call, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your response was your body/mind telling you that this was not okay. Anyone who thinks you ruined this is not someone who has your best interests in mind. I don’t care if it’s your own mother, they do not have your best interest in mind,” someone else wrote.

“If Mark needed a big, romantic surprise he should have planned a proposal. And give you time to answer in private.”

And someone else wrote: “NTA. What the f**k did I just read? A SURPRISE WEDDING?! Not only is there the pressure of all your friends and family being there while you’re essentially choosing if you want to get married, but you also get no say in how your own wedding would turn out?”