My mother-in-law is committing ‘emotional incest’ with my husband



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We’ve all heard the stereotype about ‘boy moms’… they’re over-protective and their devotion knows no limits. 

But what happens when the line between motherly affection and something more unsettling becomes blurred?

In a recent forum post, a new mom found herself grappling with an unexpected change in her mother-in-law relationship with her husband. 

Brace yourselves for some seriously concerning behavior.

“She started talking about our bedroom life”

Imagine being happily married for six years, only to discover that the impending arrival of your baby has triggered your MIL to act in a completely different way towards her son, aka your husband.

Well, that’s exactly what happened to this woman, who took to the Am I The Asshole forum to vent about exactly that.

“These signs were not present prior to my husband and I finding out we were pregnant in December of last year. I’ve been a part of this family for six years and my MIL was never weird to my husband. It’s like as soon as she found out I was pregnant, her behavior shifted,” she explained in the post that has over 2.3k upvotes and 400+ comments. 

A wife noticed her mother-in-laws’s behavioral change when she announced her pregnancy.
Viacheslav Yakobchuk – stock.adobe.com

She noted, “He has three siblings, he’s the youngest, and she doesn’t act like this with any of her other kids.”

The OP said she started to notice a shift in her MIL’s behavior right after their pregnancy announcement.

She explained, “She starts showering my husband with gifts (jewelry, money, literal romantic cards) saying, “You won’t be able to buy yourself anything for a while so I want to make sure you’re spoiled’.”

“She then started talking about our bedroom life or how we got pregnant (‘Well clearly you like bending people over’). She started calling him babe/baby/daddy. But it was never an excitement over her being a grandmother. She told everyone she was ‘indifferent’ about the pregnancy (all her other kids have several children but my MIL is acting weird about our baby, not her other kids’ babies).”

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Then everything came to a head right before she gave birth. 

“She showed up and tried making my husband sit on the couch with her while I was having contractions because she ‘needed to make sure he was good’ and I watched her rub/squeeze his inner thighs multiple times. Every time she did, he immediately moved away from her and you could tell it was bothering him but he didn’t say anything,” she recalled.

Emotional incest is, “when a parent turns to their child for the emotional intimacy a romantic partner should provide.”
AITA

Then after they brought their newborn home, things got even stranger… “She comes by two days ago, unannounced per usual, and when she shows up she immediately smacks my husband’s ass which is completely out of character for her. He says, ‘WTF mom?’ and she laughs and says ‘What?’

“Then he was sitting and holding the baby and she came up behind him and started hugging him from behind with her full body pressed to him and said ‘She looks just like us’ (he and his mom look NOTHING alike).

“He just kind of looked at her and then looked at me and without thinking, I said, ‘Hey MIL, have you ever heard of emotional incest? If not, maybe look it up and correct your behavior because if this continues you won’t be allowed back here’.”

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According to Psych Central, emotional incest is, “when a parent turns to their child for the emotional intimacy a romantic partner should provide.”

“I don’t want her near our baby at all”

The mom then told readers that she didn’t want her MIL near her child “at all” if she was going to act this weird. 

“She makes me uncomfortable,” she continued.

So how did the situation unfold after this comment?

The creepy mom started to call her son babe, baby and daddy. She also showered him with gifts.
Viacheslav Yakobchuk – stock.adobe.com

She said, “My husband immediately shoots me a look. She plays dumb and ends up leaving 10 minutes later. My husband won’t talk to me about it at all (literally refuses).”

In a follow-up edit, the mom said: “I had talked to my husband about it at least twice and I told him I was going to say something if he didn’t. That was months ago, prior to having the baby. He obviously didn’t think I was serious. And at the end of the day, she’s being weirdly sexual toward my husband and if he won’t defend himself, I will.”

“I just puked in my mouth”

Down in the comments, pretty much everyone agreed that the MIL was overstepping some serious boundaries. 

“Yikes. It’s such a trip that there are moms like this out there,” the top comment read. 

“I just puked in my mouth,” someone else admitted.

“You should talk with your husband again. He needs therapy if he doesn’t see her behavior as disgusting,” another advised. 

Someone else said, “The fact that OP’s husband literally will not speak to her about what was said makes me think he isn’t just a coward but that maybe his mother abused him when he was younger. This is not just ‘WTF mom’ stuff. This is “WTF” stuff.

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The overbearing mother in law even smacked her son’s butt and held him tightly from behind.
Monkey Business – stock.adobe.com

“NTA and I definitely wouldn’t want her around my kid, at least not without eyes on her every second.”

And a third agreed, saying, “I think OP needs to initiate some gentle conversations with her husband about how his mother interacted with him during his childhood and early adolescence. His reactions to his mom show some features of classic trauma response, including ignoring and avoiding his mother’s inappropriate displays of affection, rather than squarely confronting and addressing the behavior directly with his mom.”

They added, “It’s also possible that his mom’s incestuous behavior was normalized while he was growing up, and has only resurfaced due to the huge life change of him becoming a father.

“Or his mom could have a brain tumour or dementia/brain decline. Coin toss, but something’s definitely not right with the entire vibe.”

“The onset of dementia could absolutely explain this overly sexual behavior,” someone else said. 



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