The hospital sent my husband home with COVID — it was ‘far worse’

When Patricia’s husband, Tim, recovered from a frightening and debilitating case of viral meningitis in 2021, the sense of relief they felt was overwhelming.

“It felt like a one-off thing and we were so happy he was in the clear,” the Sydney mom tells Kidspot.

During his six-monthly checkups with a neurologist, Tim, who was 44 at the time, reported twice that his continued symptoms of migraines and headaches were worrying him and that he didn’t “feel right”.

“They just gave him things to get rid of the pain,” the 45-year-old mom-of-two says.

“He came away from those appointments feeling like he was wasting the doctor’s time even though he was constantly in pain.”

‘It felt like they just wanted him out of the hospital’

Household chores such as mowing the lawn that he used to do with ease now left him covered in sweat and extremely fatigued, but no one could pinpoint why.

In February this year, Tim began suffering from heartburn, dizziness, blurred vision, vomiting, and severe headaches.

Admitting himself to the local emergency department on March 6, the father-of-two was promptly sent back home the same day after testing positive for COVID.

“As soon as that PCR came back, they were like, ‘Oh, it’s COVID see you later,” Patricia says, still in disbelief.

“They said they would just manage it as an outpatient. It felt like they just wanted him out of the hospital.”

‘This is not COVID, this is far worse’

Tim’s condition quickly deteriorated at home, and he became unable to eat or move around the house on his own.

“By day eight, I told Tim, ‘This is not COVID, this is far worse’.”

On the advice of a neighbor who works as a nurse, Patricia called an ambulance – only for the paramedics to leave Tim at home with a letter to follow up with his GP.

“Just as we had done before, the GP would say to go to the hospital, and the hospital would kick us out, so we left it for a few more days.”

On March 17, Patricia called an ambulance again, demanding that her severely ill husband be admitted to the hospital.

Once there, it took over two hours – when Tim collapsed on the floor after vomiting at 2.30 am the following morning – for him to be finally examined.

“They did so many tests but nothing came back with anything conclusive, and they wanted to send him home again,” she remembers vividly.

“I burst into tears and said, ‘He needs to be here. He requires 24/7 care’. If I didn’t advocate for him, we would have been kicked out.”

‘From the start, there was no hope’

Patricia’s intuition was devastatingly accurate. Three weeks later, on April 5 – despite having no respiratory symptoms at all – Tim was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

“From the start, there was no hope,” she says emotionally.

“They told me, ‘Everything we’re telling you is bad’. Tim was in such a condition that I had to explain it to him and he said to me, ‘It’s okay. I knew something was wrong. I know that even though I won’t make it, you and the kids will be okay. I know how strong you are. You’ve got this.’”

“That day was rough. I was a huge mess.”

“I was just so angry that he was ignored and never validated, and it had gotten to this. It was so unfair.”

‘It crashed down so fast’

Patricia’s beloved husband and father to Emily, 16, and Ollie, 12, would never return home from the hospital.

Patricia initially hoped to spend the coming months making precious memories her children could cherish forever.

“So that’s what I told the kids. Tim said he would rent a house by the beach where he could just watch the waves and be with me and the kids just to have a little quality of life.”

But that wish was cruelly dashed when less than two weeks after the shocking diagnosis, her husband bravely lost his battle on April 18, aged 45.

“It crashed down so fast,” Patricia remembers solemnly.

“In that short time, it had spread from his lungs to his bones, lymph nodes, brain and spine.

“On the day he passed, I was holding his hand, and his brother and parents were by his side.

“They said with the right medication, he could have up to two years,” she remembers.

“He was in and out of consciousness but he kept saying, ‘I love you, Trish’. I had to go home and tell the kids and they screamed and we were all in tears, talking about how unfair it was.”

“I can’t bear to throw out his toothbrush”

Amid her grief, Patricia remains a full-time carer for Ollie, who has suffered from Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy (DMD), ever since he was diagnosed at 10 weeks old.

DMD, which requires 24/7 monitoring by either Patricia or a nurse, is a severe muscle-wasting condition that is progressive, which means Ollie will become weaker as he gets older.

“He’s not able to walk now and he needs help rolling over in bed, which he often needs to do several times a night.”

Since Tim’s passing, Patricia has slept by his side or in Emily’s room on an air mattress, too distraught to go anywhere near things that remind her of the beautiful 18-year marriage that ended all too soon.

“I can’t sleep in my bed at all, or open Tim’s wardrobe and I can’t bear to throw out his toothbrush,” she says tearfully.

“It comforts them but it comforts me as well. The kids are so scared that something is going to happen to me, they’re hanging on with everything they have.”