Modern lovers are seeking a different truth and a subversive path to pleasure and partnership in the form of ENM (ethical non-monogamy) or polyamory.
“The idea that we are better off with one person for the rest of our lives is not an innate truth of existence,” author Iain Reid argues. “It’s a belief we want to be true.”
We owe much of the recent discourse around polyamory to Gen Z, half of whom say an open relationship is their preference. Noted for being more gender and sexually fluid than their predecessors, Gen Z’s need to explore desire and identity from a place of honest curiosity is better suited by ENM.
But ENM knows neither limits nor advantages as advocates of all ages are celebrating the merits of polyamory, with some claiming ENM can cure depression and save marriages.
As activist and nipple-freeing influencer Rose Montoya explains, “Polyamory is the agreement that we don’t ever ask or expect any one individual to meet all of our needs.”
More partners, more problems?
Are these needs and our relationship with meeting them star-born? You bet your kinky boots they are!
But it ain’t all novelty and nudity, folks: ENM is emotionally complex and requires a tremendous amount of considerate work.
In short, poly life is not for everyone.
A birth chart or synastry reading is an excellent way to gain an understanding of yourself, the needs of your partner and the kinds of ENM that may and may not work for you.
“The Ethical Slut” and “Polysecure” are two wonderful resources for those looking to explore. A birth chart or synastry reading is also an excellent way to gain an understanding of yourself, the needs of your partner and the kinds of ENM that may and may not work for you.
Poly by the stars
In terms of astrology, the sun governs our essential selfhood, but when it comes to sex and relationships, three placements within the birth chart take precedence: the moon, which reveals what makes us feel safe and nourished; Venus indicating attraction, attachment and validation; and Mars, which points to our sexual appetites and aspirations.
I chose three signs suited to polyamory in any/all of the above placements.
Read on to learn more!
Curiosity is the lifeblood of Geminis who live to connect/commune/consult with others to fully understand the world and themselves within it. Geminis are aces at multitasking and keeping it light, a relational levity/dexterity that lends itself to seamlessly managing multiple partners.
Geminis are aces at multitasking and keeping it light, a relational levity/dexterity that lends itself to seamlessly managing multiple partners.
Ruled by Mercury, the planet of exchange, Geminis are oxygenated by novelty and buoyed by sharing. While that doesn’t necessarily translate to a need to share themselves sexually with a cast of characters, Geminis thrive when permitted to flirt and flit without fear of hurting their partner.
That freedom fortifies their primary bond as the twin will always want to compare these downloads — sexual, conspiratorial, controversial or otherwise — with someone they view as their steady sounding board.
Ruled by the expansive, expressive planet Jupiter, Sagittarius is a sign that feels most alive when in a state of exploration, boundary-pushing and general broadening. In that respect, polyamory and the freedom it engenders make archers feel more secure in their attachments — heightened rather than hindered.
Polyamory and the freedom it engenders make archers feel more secure in their attachments
Add to the sex pot that many Sag folk are honest to a borderline offensive degree, a necessary quality for maintaining order and equitability in ENM dynamics.
Revolutionary of heart and open of mind, Aquarius natives have a broad definition of what sex can be and what a relationship can/should look like. Rulers of the 11th house of community, Aquarians truly believe in the power of the collective and the powerful love that can be found in a collection of partners.
Rulers of the 11th house of community, Aquarian truly believe in the power of the collective and the powerful love that can be found in a collection of partners.
A fixed sign, water bearers are principled, bound to a code of ethics that champions equitability — a requisite for ENM dynamics. As an air sign, an Aquarian’s emotional objectivity supports communication, clarity and the orbit of multiple partners.
Perhaps that inclusive, progressive approach explains why water bearers are the zodiac sign getting their freak on with the highest frequency in 2024.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
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