A viral trend of women sharing text messages from men has exposed a gross reality that is horrifyingly common.
The TikTok trend is ironically called ‘sweet messages’; and women share the furthest thing from cute messages they’ve received.
Social media trends typically start wholesome and sometimes become far more harrowing, exposing a hard truth about society.
In this case, the movement began with women sharing funny, often verging on ridiculous, texts they’d received from men.
One creator amassed over 90,000 views with a message from a man who promised her he was interested; he just hadn’t messaged because he’d been locked up.
“No, I wasn’t ghosting you. I just got pulled over after leaving the bar and got arrested,” he texted.
The trend started to take off, and things became far more problematic, giving a grim insight into how so many men still treat women in 2023.
One woman shared a text message from a man who called her attractive but also said she was insane.
“You’re a whole lot of pretty and a whole lot of crazy,” he told her.
From there, things have gotten bleak with women sharing the unacceptable text messages they’ve received from men.
A woman shared a text message when the man said her oral sex game was top tier but said otherwise she was a “psycho.”
Someone else shared a message stream featuring a former partner telling her he couldn’t stand her and claiming she was “disgusting.”
Another woman shared a message where a man texted her and told her she had a great vagina, but he hoped she got hit by a car so that no one else could have her.
One creator even shared a text message from a former lover who told her she’d be six foot under if she were a man.
He used far more swearing than that, but you get the clear gist.
One woman shared several texts she’d received from an ex-boyfriend, and he’d called her everything from “putrid” to “exhausting” to a “slut”, and he even told her she wouldn’t achieve much in life.
The trend has become less fun and more a terrifying insight into behavior that is so common it is spawning thousands of videos.
Psychologist Carly Dober said that this trend confirms how normal sexism is in modern society.
“I think it goes to show how normalized misogyny is our culture, and also how normalized it is to harass, be aggressive, and to bully women into behaving in ways some men think they should act,” she told news.com.au.
Dr. Dober also argued that this kind of toxic behavior often has little consequences and that contributes to why it is so relevant because men feel they can get away with it.
“There are little -if any- consequences to this behavior online, and that emboldens those who would choose to do this to others to continue,” she said.
She also argued that this behavior has become so ingrained in our society that women don’t always realize how bad it is.
“Many women are also used to this behavior from some men in their lives and are so jaded by it that they do not bother engaging with the few formal actions that can be done,” she said.
Still, Dr. Dober pointed out that no matter how normal it has become, it still hurts women.
“On a relational level, this behavior is incredibly damaging as it can lead to lowered self-confidence and self-esteem and it can victimize those who may have had experiences of violence in their past,” she said.
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