How can such a casual fling leave someone so “Down Bad”?
Often called “situationships,” an ambiguous, not-quite-dating, not-quite-friends relationship often yields more heartbreak than splitting with a longterm beau — a reality that fans allege Taylor Swift has detailed in her 11th studio album “The Tortured Poets Department.”
On the highly anticipated new record, released Friday, Swift appears to spend more time singing about her monthlong situationship with The 1975 frontman Matty Healy than she does about her six-year relationship with Joe Alwyn.
Swifties did not seem pleased that Healy was given so much lyrical attention by the “Fortnight” crooner, but experts say that such fleeting flings with a lack of labels can be harder to move on from than a serious romance.
“Situationships are harder to get over because there is usually no clear beginning and the nature of the situation is ambiguous,” sex and relationship expert Courtney Boyer told The Daily Mail, adding that the emotional murkiness is more difficult to categorize.
“We like labels. Definitions. Black and white. Predictability. Unknowns and uncertainties are harder to process.”
Less boundaries means more questioning, since so much of the connection is open to interpretation, added licensed clinical professional counselor Rychel Johnson.
“Was it just casual dating? The start of something more serious that fizzled out? Were real feelings starting to develop before things abruptly ended?” the Kansas-based counselor told Daily Mail, saying it makes “chieving emotional resolution an uphill battle.”
“How can you fully move forward when you’re stuck replaying and reanalyzing every interaction, text, and moment spent together looking for signs you may have missed….. the lack of clarity prevents creating the psychological distance needed to heal.”
Not to mention, a typical situationship is flooded with the emotional intensity and intimacy of a committed relationship in such a short period of time before ultimately fizzling.
“So when they come to an abrupt halt, working through those heightened feelings of connection and fantasy can hit twice as hard,” Johnson said.
Not to mention, “situationships are notorious for giving participants a false sense of hope,” noted psychologist and author Dr. Rina Bjaj.
“When the situationship inevitably comes to an end, the dashed hopes and unfulfilled promises can be particularly devastating,” she explained, adding that singles often find themselves entangled in the precarious romance to avoid being alone.
Relationship gurus warn that we should be bidding these tumultuous flings goodbye — so long, situationships.
“My advice is to avoid these undefined blurred lines whenever possible,” said Johnson.
“If keeping things casual is the mutual desire, establish upfront what that truly means for both parties. And if you start developing deeper feelings, have the courage to initiate an honest conversation about getting on the same page.”
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