Singles Awareness Day is observed each year on September 15, offering the chance to celebrate freedom in all its autonomous, untethered glory.
A consistent warm body in your bed is nice but you know what really smacks? Doing whatever the hell you want without concern for the emotional well being of another person. Ho without hesitation, take the whole duvet, leave your hair in the drain, remain blissfully, beautifully unactivated by the habits and hangups of another. Singledom need not equate to single doom to the unattached.
In China, Singles Awareness Day is a commercial holiday that encourages the free to treat themselves to romantic dinners and luxury items. The sentiment that single is worth celebrating has been a boon to the financial sector and Singles Awareness Day has surpassed Black Friday and Cyber Monday as the most lucrative online shopping holiday in the world. Brands are all aboard with the likes of Target, Foot Locker, Best Buy, Expedia and Alibaba offering single folk discounts.
In addition to lining corporate pockets, Singles Awareness Day serves as a reminder not to rebuke love and partnership but to hold yourself high, revel in your own company and to feel whole all on your own and you know, maybe buy a plane ticket, some new running shoes and a weighted blanket because god****it you deserve it.
So go forth and love yourself well and find levity in this list of single behaviors through the zodiac signs.
Aries are the thrill seeking sort and when they don’t have a partner to provoke they get their kicks from adrenaline heavy activities and risky behaviors like speeding through suburbs they don’t live in, swiping right on every single stranger in a 40 mile radius and chancing it with gas station sushi. This ilk require constant stimulation and will often incite just to see what will ensue, making them an excellent addition to a political debate and dicey at a dinner party.
Singledom is moot for a Taurus as they tend to mate for life and rarely cut ties with a partner, even and especially when that person is a philandering trash panda. Stubborn about sticking with and in, they avoid being single because they can afford better furniture, and order more tapas at a restaurant if they are part of a couple.
Gemini acts single whether they’re in a committed relationship or not; texting a galaxy of past, present and future lovers, buzzing about, talking incessantly to themselves and others, absorbing facts and embellishing everything from denim jackets to their own life story. Gemini is ever keeping an eye out for their next possibility and like a member of a boy band in the early aughts, they always keep up the appearance of availability just out of reach.
As the resident and self flagellating nostalgia monger of the zodiac, the single Cancer is invariably waxing poetic, stalking in full, wistfully texting and/or hexing their ex. This period lasts until they discover someone more wounded, unavailable or emotionally crippled to care for, then and only then does the oculus shift and the cycle begin anew.
Leo needs adoration the way others need fiber, as part of their daily intake. The single Leo is a hungry Leo, putting on the ritz and laying down the schmaltz on any prey possible. These people don’t care whose supplying the succor so long as they feel wanted and wished for. There’s going to be a lot of spotlight dancing, false eyelashes worn at midday, gym selfies and self care posts espousing how well they are looking/feeling and also some low level hitting on the husbands/wives of friends.
Virgo laments being alone and views singlehood as evidence that they are unlovable, that nobody likes them, everybody hates them and they may as well go eat worms or the organic vegetables they have meticulously planted. They tend to stay single because they contain the curious paradox of being self-loathing while also maintaining impossible standards. for other They don’t think they’re good enough and conversely, don’t think anyone is good enough for them. In lieu of sex and sport they spend their single days replaying their failures in past relationships, taking vitamins and masturbating to the glean of a freshly waxed floor.
As the sign of partners and partnerships, Libras often feel they aren’t complete without one. A little of the old toxic “you’re nobody til somebody loves you” business. Oy. Of all the signs, being single for a Libra is the most formative as it forces them to define themselves without the ballast of another person, to identify and respond to their own needs rather than reacting to the wants of others. Libras often do their best work when they’re on the lam from love, Oscar Wilde wrote best brokenhearted, Kim Kardashian is more bankable sans Ye, Cardi B hits hard when she’s hard up in her relationships and Usher’s greatest albums are about breakups.
A single Scorpio is a force to be reckoned with. These people have a well earned reputation for staying in the orbits of their exes, including but not limited to tracking devices and voicemail hacking and when single, the fixation on their former lovers intensifies. Scorpios often consciously avoid relationships because of their own capacity for devotion and willingness to suffer for love. They crave intimacy and expect betrayal so flirting takes the form of intimidation and the absence of blinking and breathing.
Archers are a bouncy sort that take being single in stride and believe that their next great adventure or formidable love affair is just around the next bend. As they wait for a mate that can meet their need for freedom, Sagittarius is happy to wile away the time sleeping with strangers, practicing the didgeridoo, pacing book stores and perfecting their soap box monologues.
Capricorns spends their single life with single determination and the end game of successful. HRH Lady Gaga that decreed, “Your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore,” uttered by an Aries, but spoken like a Capricorn. Indeed, a single Cap is on their grind. While they may be walking the road alone they’re working towards paving it in gold and keeping themselves striding right in bias cut clothing in barren earth and concrete tones.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Aquarius doesn’t register the difference between single and coupled as they ever exist in a snowy tower of self-imposed emotional isolation. Romantic partners are a bit like familiars to water bearers, a companionable minion that does the dishes so the resident genius can do genius things unencumbered by such drudgery. Suffice it to say that the single Aquarius appears in the wild as unkempt, underfed and followed by the distinct smell of moth balls, newsprint and modeling glue.
Pisces people tend to lose sight of themselves in relationships, absorbed as they are in the minutia and emotional weather of their partner and thinking of new and novel ways to delight them. When single, Pisces do the world a service by transmitting that energy of concern and creativity into making art and being muse and spreading their proverbial sparkle to a wider cast of characters. That, or they remain poised like an Edgar Allen Poe poem, with a baseline of misty eyed inebriation.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.