Get down girl, go’n ‘head get down.
Spotify Wrapped 2K23 has been delivered unto us and with it a stack of statistics that reveal the most-listened-to artists, songs, and podcasts of the platform’s 574 million users.
In service of soundtracking sex, UK lingerie brand Pour Moi has released some song stats of its own.
Analyzing Spotify playlists with “2023” in the title, as well as words like “sex,” “seduction,” “horny,” “bedroom,” and “masturbating,” these freaks compiled a list of songs and artists folks were soundtracking their sex to this year.
In a terrifying bit of intel from Pour Moi — more people masturbate to Kanye West than any other artist. Runner-up for flying solo sing-alongs is Lana Del Rey, suggesting there are many among us who cry when they come.
Alone, with a partner, or a party of many, read on to learn what banger for banging aligns with your zodiac sign.
Summer Walker – ‘Pull Up’
Ruled by Mars, the planet of drive, desire, sex, adrenaline, conflict and motor oil, Aries folk are more inclined than other signs to get it on in a car — stolen, borrowed or otherwise.
Aries native Summer Walker gets it. With her track “Pull Up,” she showcases the never-subtle, always electric energy of cardinal fire. Pushing the seat back without shame and calling out “more” with the windows down? Pure firepower.
Everybody Loves an Outlaw, ‘I See Red’
Taurus is represented by the horned and horny bull, and the phrase “see red” is rooted in bullfighting traditions, specifically the matador’s use of a red cape to deceive the charging bull.
This song, a ballad of betrayal sung by a scorned woman to her lover, threatens death as punishment, an apt choice for the take no prisoners, trust no man, fear no b—h ethos of the Taurus ilk.
Ty Dolla $ign, ‘Or Nah’
Ruled by communicative Mercury, Gemini is a highly curious, very verbal air sign that considers questions currency.
Ty Dolla $ign’s “Or Nah” is something of a sex questionnaire that begs to get to the bottom of a partner’s preferences and proclivities. “Can you really take d–k or nah?/Can I bring another bitch or nah?”
Crude but consent driven, we lift it up.
Two Feet, ‘I Feel Like I’m Drowning’
Our man Two Feet, born Zachary William “Bill” Dess, is a double Cancer, with his sun and moon adrift in the cardinal tides of this water sign.
Cancers are notoriously bad at boundaries and goodbyes, but aces when it comes to falling in the undertow of f—ing, making Two Feet’s “I Feel Like I’m Drowning” an apt choice for emo, still masturbating to their ex, crustaceans the world over.
Bonus: the music video for the song reads like a well-choreographed art house skin flick, so feel free to watch and learn while you’re listening.
Dua Lipa + Whethan, ‘High’
Leo Dua Lipa delivers with this mix of high notes and sex that’s hard to quit.
Rulers of the heart and the fifth house of pleasure, love is a drug to Leos — and the high is always worth the thrill of the chase, the promise of pain, and the inevitable crash.
Beyoncé – ‘Rocket’
Beyoncé, with her calls for a disco dress code and a withering side eye, is an apex Virgo.
The sign of the virgin, Virgo is associated with temple worship and purification rites, but as any among them will tell you, you can’t clean it up lest you get filthy in the first place.
While “Partition” is a more obvious nod to giving head, “Rocket” is a sexier jam, with plenty of earth sign, body as nature, love-like season metaphors, and the very, very Virgo invitation to “send all your sins all over me, baby.” Get some.
Doja Cat, ‘Streets’
According to Pure Moi, the top song to have sex to by a female singer in 2023 is Libra native Doja Cat’s “Streets.”
Ruled by Venus, the planet of love and attachment, Libra is the sign of partnership and projection (“I could take you to the parents, then to Paris”) — and the people of the scales are famous for rhapsodizing like poets while operating like f–k bois.
SZA, ‘Snooze’
There is perhaps no artist today doing the shadow work of the Scorpio archetype more than SZA.
Born Nov. 8, our girl sings to the spirit of her sign most fully in the song “Snooze.” Ruled by Mars, the planet of war and Pluto, the planet of sex and death, Scorpio is a threshold sign that lives for obsession, ride-or-die, life-and-death intensity.
With lines like “Let’s take this argument back up to my place,” “I told that lie, I’d kill that b—h,” and my personal favorite, “Mobbin’, schemin’, lootin’, hide your bodies,” SZA illustrates the scary hot, kill for you or might just kill you energy of the scorpion.
PARTYNEXTDOOR, ‘Sex on the Beach’
Ruled by expansive, more is more, place your bets and shoot your shot planet Jupiter, Sagittarius is the sign of limitless liberty and the pursuit of experience.
The restless sort, archers can get on board, or in the surf, as it were, with a song that celebrates sex in the ocean and being naked in the open.
ZAYN, ‘Sweat’
Capricorn daddy Zayn Malik fulfills the archetype of the sea goat with his direct desire for physical contact and clear need for control.
He’s calling shots and being hot — and in “Sweat,” he hits his earth sign stride, tearing off clothes and likening sweat to gold.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
The Weeknd, ‘Earned It’
Apex Aquarius the Weeknd tops the list of the most popular artists to have sex to in 2023.
While the pillow sniffing, rat tail rocking, and abject skeeviness of his performance in “The Idol” made nipples invert and stomachs turn, our man can still be counted on to make us want to get it on when he plays the hits…you earned it, baby.
Labrinth, ‘Still Don’t Know My Name’
Every Labrinth song sounds like the moment the drugs hit — and no sign is fonder of that particular precipice than Pisces.
Ruled by Neptune, a planet as mystical and murky as cauldron broth, these people want sex to feel like some combination of transcendence, underwater ballet, and a bong hit, a mix made manifest by Labrinth.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for
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