Exclusive | NJ single’s wild first date suggestion sparks outrage: ‘Dodged a bullet’



She’s a real trip!

A Jersey girl has sparked a great date debate.

Zach, a 34-year-old software engineer from FiDi, made plans for a first date after matching with a Jersey City woman on Hinge, but as soon as they set the time for the meetup, she demanded — “How am I getting there?”

“My initial reaction was ‘Oh, this woman absolutely wants me to call her an Uber,’ that’s a little bit of a red flag for me, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt,” Zach told The Post.

The exchange was posted to online dating coach Erika Ettin’s Instagram handle @alittlenudge and quickly generated over 370,000 views and more than 1,000 comments.

Zach screenshot the conversation and sent it to online dating coach Erika Ettin, who posted it on her Instagram handle @alittlenudge. instagram @alittlenudge

The back-and-forth continued with Zach giving his match a pair of public transportation options. “I think it’s closest to Brookfield Place by boat or WTC [World Trade Center] on the Path.”

She wasn’t impressed. “Oh. I thought you were going to send me an Uber.”

A Connecticut native who moved to the Big Apple three years ago, Zach explained why he thought the request was out of bounds.

“I haven’t met you yet … I didn’t know this person’s last name, I had never laid eyes on her,” he said.

“If I was going to call her an Uber, she would have had to send me her address, which is a really weird thing to send to a random man.”

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He had initially offered to travel to the Garden State, writing “I’m not familiar with good first dates spots. Got any favorites? Otherwise, I’ll suggest some things in Manhattan.”

Zach initially offered to come to New Jersey. instagram @alittlenudge

When the woman, who was around 30, said she was fairly new to Jersey and was “open to Manhattan suggestions,” he gave her two options. She chose drinks at Treadwell Park in FiDi.

After the woman made it clear she wanted him to shell out cash for her voyage into Gotham, Zach tried to lighten the mood, writing “I wish you had phrased it as ‘Call me an Uber,’ so I could have said, ‘You’re an Uber,’” but she never replied.

He still showed up for the date “just in case.” But when he messaged her to say he got them a seat, she replied, “I’m not coming.”

He wrote back, saying “it was a little strange” that she asked him for an Uber, especially since he offered to come to her — and she retorted, “I’m traveling almost an hour to meet you for a first date, not even for dinner. The least you could do is cover my transportation. It’s not a strange concept to a gentleman.”

Instagrammers were shocked at the woman’s nerve for assuming he’d foot her travel bill, calling it “ridiculous,” “outrageous” and “super tacky.”

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“This is the most insane thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never heard of such a thing,” one wrote.

“I would have not believed this if it weren’t posted,” another added.

He still arrived at Treadwell Park “just in case” she showed. Michael Nagle

Many blasted the woman’s logic, and assured Zach he “dodged a bullet.”

“Spending hundreds of dollars on a girl who can’t spend 15 minutes on a train, can’t communicate that she’d like to be chauffeured everywhere, and calls him ungentlemanly because he didn’t do something that the vast majority of people who live in NYC would find outrageous? It’s a no for me dog,” one said.

Single women from all over the world said they would have traveled to meet Zach — with comments such as “would happily cross state lines to meet this guy,” “I’d actually cover my own travel from London to NYC for this date,” and “what I wouldn’t give for a guy to show this level of effort and thoughtfulness for a date in my city.”

Although most sided with him, some were Team Jersey girl.

“He initially said he would provide options in her area,” one said. “Then when he wasn’t familiar with her neighborhood he said, ‘That changes things.’”

Although he was burned by one New Jerseyan, Zach said he is still open to dating women from across the river.

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“Why would I judge the entirety of people in one state by a bad experience that I had with someone,” he said.

He also can’t help but ponder what could have been if he would have just traveled to the Garden State in the first place.

“I wonder what would have happened if I had just gone and picked a place in Jersey,” he said. “Who knows, right?”





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