‘I’m Always Worrying’: The Emotional Toll of Financial Stress

Elgin, Ill. For Ellie Alvarado, a teacher and mother of three in the U.S., figuring out how to pay the bills has become a source of anxiety and stress, especially as she and her husband debate how to cut back. .

“When I say, ‘Okay, we can’t buy anything this week or else we’ll go into overdraft’ – they say, ‘No, what are you talking about? We’re both working.’ Shouldn’t be,” Ms Alvarado said.

Rising food prices mean no more sudden trips to McDonald’s. Name-brand cereal and other small luxuries are out there too. Gas prices, which were recently hovering around $5 a gallon, are eating into their budget as well.

“Every time I fill up my van I get shocked,” said Ms. Alvarado, who sometimes sees as little as $100 in her family’s checking account. “I’m always worried,” she said.

Her husband, who works in a factory, decided to take the overnight shift as it pays more per hour. But his family still lags behind in their housing payments.

“I can postpone the mortgage by two weeks,” said Ms. Alvarado, 38, who tracks the family budget. “But then it’s two more weeks, and then all of a sudden they’re calling you.”

Inflation has now reached its highest level in 40 years, forcing many families to work less. According to data released this month by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the consumer price index rose 9.1 percent from a year ago, with the biggest price increases in necessities such as food, rent and gasoline. Additional financial stress is not only hard on bank accounts, but it can also bring on feelings of depression, shame, anger or fear.

A study of older adults published in 2017 found that the way a person perceives and reacts to financial stress can have an impact on their mental well-being. Those who were troubled by their economic circumstances were more likely to have higher depression scores than those who were under financial stress but who were not bothered by it – even after considering other factors such as health and income. Even when controlling.

Fortunately, “there’s a lot we can do to manage and work through that stress and emotion,” said the paper’s lead author, Sarah D. Acebedo, director of the School of Financial Planning at Texas Tech University in Lubbock, Texas, Sarah D. Acebedo said. ,

We talked to financial experts about how to deal with the emotional repercussions of money worries and have productive conversations about finances with family members.

Embrace Self-Reflection and Communicate With Empathy

When couples disagree on how to handle their finances, each partner usually tries to persuade the other to change their mind, said Rick Kahler, co-founder Association of Financial Therapy which is collaborating on a book for couples with money problems.

Instead, suggested Mr. Kahler, think about how you are reacting when you discuss your finances. What is triggering your past? Are there stories or scripts that you live by when it comes to your finances – for example the idea that working hard will always reward?

Approach your partner with empathy and ask: “What do you expect to spend this money on?” or “What are you afraid of biting this object?” Mr. Kahler said.

Both partners may eventually realize that they want the same thing – for example, that they each want what is best for their family.

Amanda Kleiman, a financial therapist in Los Angeles, said that, when communicating differences, any request should be specific. So instead of saying, “We need to save more,” say instead, “Let’s find ways to save an extra $200 dollars every month.” And try to use “I statements” when possible, such as: “I’m uncomfortable with how much we pay for entertainment subscriptions and wonder if we can cut that.”

For this to work, Ms. Kleiman said, both partners must feel that their needs are being covered and that they have an equal say in the matter, regardless of who is more concerned or who. earns more money.

Spend Wisely, But Don’t Deprive Yourself Completely

Whether you live alone or are managing the finances for a large family, it’s important to think about goals before you set out to fix any money problem, says Megan McCoy, a licensed marriage and family therapist. who teaches courses in financial planning at Kansas State University.

What are you saving for? What do you need to cover with a limited budget? Write it down. Then think about potential cuts – but try to keep the things that bring you joy.

Ask yourself: “What can I cut out that won’t negatively affect my mental health?” Dr. McCoy said. “I think people restrict too harshly.”

For 36-year-old Sarah Davis, necessary (but pricey) expenses include mental health therapy and her beloved cat, who has developed health problems.

“He’s like my little darling baby,” she said.

To better afford such things, she left Boston, where she works as a project administrator, and now lives in Lawrence, Mass., about 25 miles north of downtown. The fare is cheap, she said, but still “nausea is expensive.”

What keeps him awake at night is the possibility that something is wrong, and you don’t know how long the prices will continue to rise.

“I am a really bad tire replacement, far from in financial trouble,” said Ms Davis, who lives without another income to rely on herself.

There has been so much uncertainty in the past few years, it “causes everlasting concern,” Dr. McCoy said. But the plan you’re working on—whether it’s building your savings or taking steps to pay off debt—can provide a sense of power and control.

Orly Harsh and her family decided five years ago to live with her mother in the home she grew up in Boulder, Colo. This allowed his mother to age, and for them to live in the city they loved. She and her husband, who are both teachers, cannot afford to become homeowners.

“It is a great mutual benefit for all of us,” said Ms Harsh, 53, a mother of two.

Although they save money on housing costs, Colorado currently has some of the highest inflationary costs in the country and rising prices have taken a big bite out of their budget. To pay the bills for her youngest daughter’s recent hospitalization, she would need to dip into Ms. Harsh’s retirement fund, “which is disappointing,” she said.

But, she said, for her stress level it’s better to pay it off sooner. “I really hate having this debt hanging over my head,” she said.

Explore the Different Types of Professional Support

It can be helpful for anyone looking to achieve financial literacy to see a financial counselor. Perhaps, for example, you need tips for budgeting or want to learn the basics of investing. If cost is a concern, the Association for Financial Counseling and Planning Education is offering a free virtual financial coaching session to anyone experiencing financial uncertainty.

Financial therapy is another type of counseling that can help people understand their thoughts and beliefs about money, especially when they are feeling stuck.

“The question becomes: What is happening internally? What unfinished work from the past has to be completed?” Mr. Kahler said.

For example, one of his customers insisted on spending all the money in his checking account. During financial therapy they realized they developed this behavior because they didn’t believe their money would be safe if they put it aside. This, in part, dates from his childhood, when his parents took all the money out of his savings account after he lost his money during bankruptcy.

Talking to a financial therapist can help people get to the root of their feelings about money and understand long-standing beliefs that “free up us to adopt new behaviors that are at our best.” interests,” Mr. Kahler said.

A troubled economic outlook means that the rising cost of living is largely out of our control. But if you know you should be making wise financial decisions, and you’re not, then “that’s the time we need to look under the hood,” he said.