For Coachella, wannabe fashionistas are spending big bucks — but their “horrendous” ‘fits are forcing social media to ask, “What the literal f- -k?”
Quizzical eyebrows are being raised across the internet as influencers, such as Montse Lewin, a content creator from Los Angeles, are paying hundreds — or even thousands — to purported “Coachella stylists” for help looking haute and hot throughout the two-weekend-long desert festival.
It’s a yearly celebration of music, fun and fashion — held from April 10 to 12 and April 17 to 19 — during which celebrity VIPs and everyday divas, alike, vie for the title of “best dressed.”
Leah Halton, a 24-year-old Australian siren, not only secured bragging rights as the concert’s most stylish but was also crowned “the most beautiful girl in the world.”
It’s an accolade she can take to the bank.
Unfortunately for Lewin, however, her en vogue investment wasn’t exactly money well spent — and keyboard critics had no problem letting her know it.
“I’m trying not to have a panic attack right now,” a crestfallen Lewin told over 5.3 million video viewers, fighting back tears while trying on outfits curated by a “thrifting” professional who sent second-hand looks, along with styling instructions, via mail.
Attempting to mimic the bougie-bohemian essence of the fête, Lewin’s first ensemble consisted of a metallic gold bikini top, chocolate brown sequin skirt and an cheetah-print circle scarf, with which she didn’t know what to do.
“Not seeing the vision coming together,” the brunette whimpered, before swapping out the skirt with loose-fitting pants and an oversized belt. “I don’t know how I feel about this.”
Lewin then slipped into “Look No. 2,” a baggy pair of silver basketball shorts paired with a “vintage” graphic t-shirt featuring an image of an unknown woman rocking red lipstick and sunglasses. The unimpressive apparel left Lewin underwhelmed.
The third number was a bubble gum pink scarf, which she was told to tie around her chest as a halter top, bikini bottoms and a netted sarong. A short-sleeve, hot-pink lace bolero served as the tacky cherry on top.
“My whole butt is out,” Lewin moaned before vowing to hit the mall for alternative togs. “This was such a bad idea.”
Virtual vultures agreed.
“These outfits are so tragic. OMG,” gagged a disapproving commenter.
“What the literal fuck,” wondered another in disgust.
“Can you sue for defamation?,” a litigious faultfinder posed.
“Girl this is hot garbage,” wrote another, echoing critiques from other objectors who left scathing remarks like, “This is horrendous,” “I have never seen anything so bad” and “Is this a prank?.”
“Please get your money back OMFG,” begged a detractor.
“[The stylist] did you so dirty,” another barked.
Sadly, Lewin’s hired hand isn’t the only glam guru who seems to be setting up Coachella-goers for fashion fails.
Adea, a beauty influencer with over 1.7 million TikTok followers, sent jaws dropping in shock upon debuting the duds her $500 Coachella stylist hand-selected for the event.
“This has to be rage-bait,” a stunned onlooker commented beneath Adea’s trending try-on clip, featuring kooky clothes combinations, such as an olive green shift skirt with a casual cut-out top and a cropped black leather jacket.
The look — along with several others which were just as distressing — earned the tastemaker a sea of hate from naysayers, commenting, “$500 wasted,” and “Babes, are [you] ok? I’m genuinely concerned.”
Darcei, a makeup maven, too, caught digital hellfire after modeling the gear her alleged expert earmarked for the big event.
“Can you show us your stylist please so we don’t book them,” implored an unimpressed onlooker under footage of the belle rocking a corset top, a baby-pink ruffled micro skirt, denim jacket and distressed black boots. Others compared the unimpressive swag to that of Little Bo Peep.
“I’m starting to think this is satire,” spat a separate skeptic. “Please let it be satire?.”
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