Showbiz is getting ready to pop the cork at midnight on Jan. 1.
But first allow me to burst their bubble.
Like the schlub who pledges to go to the gym more, the entertainment industry could always use some improvement.
Here are my New Year’s resolutions for movies, Broadway and TV.
On TV: Make shows that don’t take huge breaks
When “Stranger Things” returned for its final season in November, the “kids” were all grad students and I could remember none of their names.
Netflix’s science-fiction series had been away for a long three years, a trend which has annoyingly become the norm.
FX’s big Emmy winner “Shogun” starts filming Season 2 in January, which means no episodes until 2027 — another three-year break. HBO’s “House of the Dragon” has a more svelte two-year hiatus.
The thing is, unlike “Game of Thrones,” these shows aren’t so fantastic that we pine for them. That’s why I think reality TV is so popular — it lets audiences follow characters at a regular clip. The Real Housewives don’t need a 36-month breather.
“The Pitt” has figured this out to great success. So has “Hacks.” Audiences want better stuff, yes, but they also miss the old network TV pace and reliability.
On Broadway: Fix the new musical problem
The theater industry has spent the last four years blithely pretending Broadway wasn’t in shambles because there was at least a healthy supply of inventory.
Last season had 16 new musicals. Most of them weren’t any good, but what else is new?
Now everybody is finally freaking out, because there are only six. And most are less appealing than “Six.” One, “The Queen of Versailles” starring Kristin Chenoweth, just closed on Dec. 21 at a reported loss of $22.5 million.
A recently announced addition, the funny Celine Dion camp fest “Titanique,” already ran off-Broadway for three years and was staged around the world. And next Spring’s “Beaches” has been tweaked across the country for more than a decade. Demonstrably there has not been much wind beneath its wings.
“The season’s only hope is ‘The Lost Boys’,” an insider said. Uh oh. Vampire musicals have never been the lifeblood of Midtown. Just ask Elton John.
One problem is that investors are afraid to put money into new Broadway musicals because it’s almost a foregone conclusion that they’ll lose it. It’s gone from a risky business to a foolish one.
Why? Too many concessions have been made to unions that have driven up costs to astronomical highs. So, now there are fewer jobs in musicals for performers and craftspeople, and minimalist plays are being cast out of Hollywood. Go figure.
One Tony winner told me working out of town is the best option these days. That’s obviously not good for New York.
Broadway is at a tipping point — and its leaders must face facts immediately.
At the Movies: Please bring back actual comedies
TV’s comedy trouble has come to the cinema.
On the big screen, hilarity has been swapped with lightness and eccentricity.
This year, “Bugonia,” in which Emma Stone gets kidnapped and shaved by dirty freaks who think she’s an alien, and “Jay Kelly,” in which a famous actor quietly has a breakdown, are classified as comedies.
What, pray tell, was the funniest part of “Bugonia”? The chemical castration scene?
Meanwhile, films like “Rush Hour,” “Anchorman” and “Austin Powers” are hardly getting made anymore. Maybe preachy Hollywood can no longer abide such frivolity anymore, but the constant darkness and dread is a drag for ticket buyers.
One movie in 2025 reminded me of how good it feels to laugh hard at the cinema: “The Naked Gun.” More naughty sight gags with Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson please.
See you next year.
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